A couple of things:

1. I just got a visitor who had done a search for “weird body deformities.”  This made me laugh pretty hard. Then I searched “body deformities” and I was the fourth hit on the list!  (I have no idea if that link will actually work.)

What this means? I have a corner on the market of body deformity blog posts!! This could bring me, like, 4 entire visitors a month who are all going to leave after 3 seconds because they are either junior high students looking for something to gawk at (wait, maybe they’ll find what they’re looking for?  #Disturbingthoughts) or they are people writing actual papers and looking for actual legit. information.

What a triumph!

Excited Businessman

Soon I’ll be number one!!!!

2. So, in doing research for a writing project, I stumbled across something actually pretty disturbing.  Ever heard of Bendectin?  You probably haven’t.  That’s because it was taken off the market about three decades ago because it is a morning sickness medication that ended up causing birth defects in babies.

Can you guess where I’m going here?

I was reading my Dad’s journal a couple of nights ago and… yep.  My poor sweet mom was so sick with me in the formative weeks of pregnancy that her doctor gave her an ultimatum.  Take Bendectin, or be hospitalized.  My parents chose Bendectin (which I think was the right choice.)

  

One of the possible cited birth defects from Bendectin?  Congential eye deformities!!!

Nurse Holding Various Pills

These pills will help you feel better. They’ll also mess your fetus UP.

Can you believe that???  Never, ever in my life have I thought I could be a part of something like that.

So, naturally my first thought was: lawsuit!!! Lamentably, there hasn’t been a successful case in like two decades and there’s actually a whole debaccle about whether or not the drug actually causes birth defects.  Not surprising.

And I’m only kidding about the lawsuit anyway.  Even if I could become litigious, I wouldn’t.

But isn’t that weird?  I think it’s so crazy to finally have a viable explanation for my eyeball deformation.

This would be so awesome if my life goal was to start a strange, spooky website dedicated to something only marginally fact-based and totally sensational.

Kind of like this one.

Did you watch that intro?  Isn’t this just creepy?

All right, that’s it for today.  This post has been brought to you by paternity leave. It’s been awesome to be able to be home with the girls.

Missed my other body deformity posts?  That’s almost more tragic than having one. (How was that for compelling?)  Remedy this post haste, by clicking  here, here or here.

Also, one more deformity post to go!  (I will not stop until I’m #1 on google.  I’m driven like that, ya’ll.) The next and perhaps final body deformity post will be about sinusitis.  You’ll love it.  I know I do.