Sometimes people ask me “Josh, what’s it like being a Mormon celebrity? Like, seriously, is it hard to be such a big deal?”

Gotta admit, it can be hard to be someone who exudes relevance all the time.

I’m wearing a tux. I am relevant. 

Like, for instance, it’s really time-consuming to write in this blog. Once a quarter.

It’s also hard to know what to be for Halloween. Do I go as some other relevant celebrity? Or do I just go as myself, and risk getting lost in the sea of other people who have decided to be Josh Weed for Halloween?


The most challenging part, though, is when people play coy. Like the other day at a coffee shop…

Barista: What can I get you?

Me: I’ll have a tall hot chocolate. With whipped cream.

Barista: Sure. That’ll be up for you in just a second.

Me: Okay thanks.

*awkward pause while nobody else is in line behind me*

Me: Oookay, fine! I’ll fess up. It really is me.

Barista: Excuse me?

Me: Oh you’re not fooling anyone, young lady. Don’t act like you didn’t recognize me.

Barista: I’m… I have no idea who you are.

Me: Does the year 2012 ring a bell? A certain blog post? *puts hands to face like a photo frame* It’s me!! Club unicorn!

Barista: ….

Me: Josh Weed? The gay man who’s married to a woman? Three kids?

Barista: *dubious stare*

Me: Come on! Vh1 in 2013? The episode came on about three times!! It was an episode of a show about weird marriages?

Barista: *shakes head*

Me: Ricki Lake before it was canceled the second time!? Nightline!!

Barista: *blank stare*

Me: I made a HUGE splash! I was on the local news! People couldn’t stop talking about me for HOURS.

Barista: ….cool.

Me: Are you sure you don’t remember me?

Barista: What was your name?

Me: Josh Weed.

Barista: *eyes light up* Oh, wait! I DO know you! I LOVED Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I had no idea you were gay!

Me: Oh. That wasn’t me. That was Joss Whedon. Not Josh Weed.

Barista: Oh.

Me: I don’t personally know Joss Whedon, but I do know my share of celebrities…

Barista: ….

Me: Ever heard the name Zina Petersen? Ring a bell much?

Barista: *shakes head*

Me: Oh, excuse me. Zina NIBLEY Petersen. Yeah. She’s stayed in my house before.

Barista: *blank stare*

Me: Daughter of Hugh Nibley? Amazing scholar? Wrote tons of books and stuff? No? NOTHING?

Barista: ….

Me: Sally DeFord! I wrote a song with her! I visited her in Colorado!

Barista: Sir, I need to help the next customer.

Me: Wait, what about Seth Adam Smith! Famous blog pots about “Marriage isn’t for me?” He and I talk on the phone all the time! He just published a book and I was thanked in paragraph seventeen of the acknowledgments. Here, let me show you, give me one second to get it out of my briefcase–don’t mind the parentheses…

Barista: Sir, could you please move aside. I really need to help the next customer.

Me: Just… one…. second… almost…. have…

Barista: Fine. Josh Whedon. I remember you. You are famous and relevant. PLEASE MOVE.

Me: YES!! I knew it!! I knew you remembered me! WHEEEEEEE!!!!

*dances out of the shop forgetting his hot chocolate*

So, yeah. As you can see, it can get pretty difficult at times.

So, the next time you see me in the streets and I maybe look like I have a lot on my plate, just know: it’s tough to be important. But like I tell myself in the mirror every day forty times whilst flexing, it’s also important to be tough.