FFAQ poll + I think I’m back?


So, today is FFAQ (which stands for “Friday’s Frequently Asked Question.”

The fact that I’m doing FFAQ today says a couple of things.

First, I am happy to report that I am truly feeling more comfortable in my skin. As you could probably imagine, based on the threat to my family I shared in this post, I was seriously contemplating whether or not blogging in a public forum is worth it–if it can come to a threat to my family, is this a risk I’m willing to take? Before posting that horrific exchange, I didn’t know what to think. I was confused, in some denial, and frustrated. Once I hit “publish” though and got that man’s words out there for all the world to see, I immediately felt more powerful and in control. And then the comments started flooding in and when so many of you came (as has happened in the past) to support me and my family, I was buoyed up. It helped me see that even though there are very real risks and consequences to putting one’s voice out there, there is also great value in doing so. There is so much that is beautiful in this community and so much support here, for myself and for others. I find myself saying thank you a lot on this blog, and I really mean it. It was very, very helpful to see so much support and so much appalled horror at what happened to me and my family because of this blog. Thanks for helping me remember why I’m doing this.

Second, alongside all of that, the last month saw an interesting thing happen with my coming out post. It somehow went viral again (on a smaller scale) and was read by thousands upon thousands of new people. I have no idea how this happened–like seriously, it felt totally and completely random and I couldn’t identify a source other than Facebook (thank you Facebook!)–but this means that there are a lot of new people here that might have questions.

And that’s what FFAQ is for, friends old and new!

So here’s how this thing goes down.

If you have a question–about anything at all, could be gay-related or just about my life or perhaps about quantum physics–leave it in the comments. If you see a question that you like, reply to that question with a comment that says “ditto.” The question with the most dittoes at the end of the day is the one I answer the next Friday, and so on and so forth, into perpetuity. Please only one ditto per question (you can ditto more than once). Please don’t cheat. It’s not a sophisticated or complex process, but it has worked well.

Tips: questions asked earlier in the day have a better chance at winning (for obvious reasons). Also, questions that win tend to be focused, pretty concise, and genuine.

Are you ready for this?

All righty then.



  1. My question is kind of directed to both you and Lolly.

    As a bisexual Christian who firmly believes in heterosexual marriage as God's plan for us, how do I, as a woman, tell the man I am interested in that I am bisexual? Do you think there's a best way to do that? And when in the dating relationship? And more personally to Lolly, what impact does that knowledge have on choosing to continue to date and then marry a person with non-straight sexuality?

  2. Question:

    Why do we ask questions to which we already know the answer? Oh, and… why is it that beat around the bush, so much, instead of just getting down to the point? I would rather much know how someone really feels about something, than figure out later that they would rather I use my own laundry soap than theirs. 🙂 Thanks for letting me read!

  3. This is a long shot since it's not necessarily a typical post idea for your blog, but since you served a mission in Venezuela, What are your thoughts and what do you think needs to happen there right now with the crazy uprisings?

  4. I don't have a question, but I just read your post about the threats, etc. (I must have missed some posts because hell-o, I also missed the ADORABLE funny pirate-smiling-daughter post, too!) and I just wanted to say there are so many people out there who read this blog and LOVE you and your family and your writing and think you all are just awesome! Have a great weekend. 🙂

  5. What is the most common thing you come across in your work? I'm feeling like I need to talk to a professional lately, but I feel a bit embarrassed to seek help for issues I feel are probably very common.

  6. Typically, men and women, boys and girls are divided by gender in things like bathrooms and sleeping arrangements.

    I often wonder about this these days when I watch shows like Project Runway and gay contestants are put in rooms with members of their gender. I wonder if that is 'proper'.

    In your opinion, how should sleeping arrangements be made?

  7. Hi there! I was wondering if you believed in homoromanticism, and if so what your best tips might be to not become mentally scared by trying to be someone else? I identify as asexual (meaning, by your "coming out" analogy, if everyone lost their clothes, I would only be annoyed, not turned on by either gender) but when it comes to falling in love, it's easier to love girls. I don't even want to sleep with or kiss them, just love them forever.

  8. First off, such behavior seems to transcend time. North Korea has the biggest bully known to the 21st century. Even though he is not the first leader of a country to be so, you would think that by now, we would have figure out how to deal with such. I disagree with your stance not to pursue further action. This person is crying out for assistance. He has probably been doing it for a long time without anyone taking the proactive stance he needs.

  9. You and Lolly and your girls seem to be an amazing family! I know that doesn't just happen. What do you two do to strengthen your marriage? What do you do to strengthen your relationship with your kids as a whole family? I have ALWAYS said I wanted to marry someone I am friends with first. Do you think friendship first builds a stronger relationship?

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