(Most of this post was written a couple of weekends ago.)
Well, Lolly has left me.
For the weekend. Everyone remain calm.
Every now and again Lolly does something that I think is very wise: she takes some time off from her job as The Lady We Go To When We Need Anything. She books a local hotel for not one, but two nights, and then she does this weird, totally unusual thing where she doesn’t assist a single person go pee or poo, clean a mess, or fix anything to eat for over 48 hours. Crazy, I know.
So what I’m saying is that she gets in a car and drives away from her family, then she sits in a chair and eats chocolate and watches movies or WHATEVER SHE WANTS, and then she curls up in a huge, comfy bed and goes to sleep, then sleeps in the next day with no child- or husband- contact, and then spends a day pampering herself, and then when she gets tired that night, she goes to sleep again, and sleeps in the next day as long as she wants, and then she spends a second day pampering herself, meditating, and having thoughts like “Wow, so this is what it’s like to not have my children barge in on me 17 times while I go pee. I remember this! It’s been almost a decade, but I do remember this!” And then, after the kids are in bed the second day, she sneaks back home, and goes to sleep in her own bed refreshed and ready to tackle motherhood again.
I totally know how that feels. I get to take a break like that from my job every single weekend!
Anyway, what this means is that this weekend is “Daddy Weekend.” When it’s Daddy Weekend, things end up going different than usual.
Here is some photographic evidence of some of the classic moments of Daddy Weekend:
Popsicles. Before lunch.
Lunch. Because peanut butter on a spoon is delicious. And spreading it on bread is way too much effort.
We had to clean out the layer of green film on the bottom of the pool. So we put a bunch of Dawn in there and then the girls did some “ice-skating.” (Let’s not tell Lolly that at one point Tessa was putting the suds in her mouth…)
Daddy swam too. It was fun. Until the girls kicked me out because I was “too big.” Whatever THAT means…
Sometimes Daddy’s forget to have the girls wipe their feet off before they come in and they track dirt everywhere.
Ice cream cones with friends!
We closed the weekend out by setting up a picnic in the living room, getting pizza, and watching a movie way past bedtime. Because that’s what Daddy’s do when they’re in charge.
I started this post during said weekend, but now it’s been a couple of weeks so I have some insider information to share. All in all it was a great weekend for me and the girls. But tragically not for Lolly. Here are the thinks that happened to Lolly when she was on her trip “getting away.”
1. Her hotel, where she was trying to get extra sleep, was next to train tracks. And the trains went by many, many times during the night honking their horns.
2. Her hotel room, where she was trying to get extra sleep, was next to the supplies closet which was frequented all night long both nights, and it had a massive very loud door that echoed through the hallway.
3. Her morning of alone time and study was interrupted by the maids even though she had the “do not disturb” sign up. This might seem like a paltry thing, but when you spend your life having whatever door you are behind knocked on by little tiny people needing things all the time, this was a pretty upsetting development that made her feel like she hadn’t “gotten away” at all.
4. When she went to get dinner, they wouldn’t take her gift card and she had to go somewhere else.
5. And finally, very worst of all, she missed me very, very much.
(#5 is a white lie I tell myself to build my own self esteem.)
No, but really, she says she ended up having a good time. Next time, though, she’ll definitely be getting a hotel away from the train tracks.
And as for me, I can’t wait for the chance to be with those girls and feed them peanut butter on spoons and play out in the pool with them all weekend. Being a single parent is so easy!*