Well, we got a comment today that made Lolly cry.
That hasn’t happened for a while. It used to happen last summer when people came to this blog and judged us for our life choice to get married, often calling us insulting things. People said horrible things about her and about us as parents, and about me. I was rarely bothered. The only time I was really bothered is when a comment would make Lolly cry.
It happened again today.
I may be a gay man, but before that I am a man married to a woman I love, and when someone makes that woman cry, my masculine instinct to protect her to comes out in full force. So, you’ll forgive me for being blunt as I defend my wife.
Here is the comment which was posted on yesterday’s post about our choice to participate in a Vh1 docu-series (and there seem to be more comments like this following, so I figure, let’s nip this in the bud.)
You doing this is way over the line… What will your girls think when they grow up :(. I’d be super embarrassed if I was a kid abd my parents were on a show like this. your daughters will be embarrassed someday, i myself an embarrassed for you both. Walking the gray is one step from denying. I am do sad to see you guys participating in a smut TV show. People have it right … Was the money worth participating in smut?
Let me tell you, anonymous, why this comment is so upsetting:
1. Readers of The Weed should know by now that we, over the course of the last 10 months, have been invited by numerous producers and media spokespeople to participate in many programs. You also know, I hope, that we take each and every opportunity presented to us seriously, and make it a deep matter of prayer and fasting. Some we have chosen to do. Others we have turned down flat, without reservation, because we knew we weren’t supposed to do it (though we often didn’t know why). Why on earth would you assume we didn’t do that in this case?
2. As an extension of #1: We know, without question, that not only was it okay to go forward, but that we were supposed to go forward with this opportunity. You can certainly have your opinions about our life but I guarantee you have very limited information regarding our decision-making process and the spiritual guidance surrounding this particular event, as well as any other event you see us do. This is a blog to you, but to us it is our life. Be cautious as you judge and harshly criticize someone’s life based on such limited information as a minute long clip and a very sparse blog post.
3. The sheer audacity of assuming we made this choice based on money is like a slap in the face. Not that it’s any of your business, but we have turned down incredibly lucrative opportunities–far more lucrative than this one–without hesitation because we knew it wasn’t right. You just accused Lolly Weed of potentially harming her daughters for money. As her husband, I strongly denounce your accusation.
4. I would just like to point out something you might not have thought of. Now, I don’t know the reasons why we felt like we should go forward with this thing; all I know is that we felt it. But I do know that this was a unique opportunity for us to share our love and our faith with an audience that might not normally get to see such a thing. That image of our family on a couch with our children in the clip? That’s us having a Family Home Evening. On TV. I am not allowed to reveal spoilers, but rest assured that we lived our life as normally as we possibly could while being filmed. I can think of no better venue to share our faith in Christ and love of family than on a channel aimed at the youth demographic of our country like Vh1.
5. Say what you want of me–I’ve been ruthlessly bullied my entire life, so sadly I’m used to it by now–but I want to be clear that there will not come a day where our daughters will look back on the events of this year and be embarrassed of their mother. Their mother is a shining example of bravery and purity. She is one of the best people on this planet. Lolly Weed is golden. Her daughters will look on her actions over the last year with amazement at her bravery and gratitude for her willingness to do whatever the Lord asked of her, even when it was really, really hard.
And this comment? Is part of what makes this stuff really really hard.
The bottom line is we just exposed ourselves, yet again, to harsh criticism because we feel prompted to be brave. I can’t tell you how anxiety-provoking it is to know that our lives will be shown on TV in such an intimate way. It is excruciating. I’m sure when the show airs, we’ll receive an onslaught of hateful rhetoric. Hopefully there will come a day when being courageous in this way is no longer required of us. Until that time, we need all the help–all the buoying up–we can get.
And on that note, we did just get another anonymous comment that touched us:
Josh, it bothers me that so many people are tearing you apart for your choice. Geez there have to be days where you feel like you really can’t win no matter what you do. Live your life in light as you always do. I have no doubt that you didn’t go on this show without thought and prayer. You can’t please everyone. As long as you and Lolly and your family are happy and God is happy, it’s all good. I am just amazed by all of the harshness. This is your life and yours alone. No one else can judge. We do such a disservice to others when we judge. It keeps up from loving.
I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for your kind words.