All right, I’ve totally been called out. I promised this post last Friday, and it’s been days. Then reader Emily posted this last night as a comment on my last post in which I talk about pressing “refresh” a lot:
JOSH. I totally feel like YOU right nooow. I keep hitting *refresh* on your website, in the hopes that sometime, maybe soon! you’ll post something new. Who knows? It could be soon. It COULD be there at the very next… *refresh*
Because let’s be honest – I check your blog like, twice a day.
UPDATES, please C:
1. That was funny. And 2. I have been remiss. I will do better, Weeders. I promise.
(Which reminds me: Weeders? Does that work? I need a word for you awesome people. And “Weeders” makes me smile. Cuz it sounds like “readers.” That’s why it’s funny. Do you understand now?)
Here’s the deal. Somebody needs to do a case study. For the second week in a row, Nicole has gotten the most “dittoes” on a FFAQ question. Here’s what she asks:
how do you address the debate of being born gay or it being a choice? i know with being LDS, we tend to have a different view of body vs spirit and agency and all that. do you feel that your spirit is attracted to the same sex or is it a body thing? I would love to hear your take on this issue. 🙂
Great question, Nicole! And great job on having yet another question chosen!
Let’s start out with what the church thinks on this issue:
Did you hear those crickets chirping? That’s because the church has no official opinion about the origins of homosexuality. While there are various theories, nobody really knows.
As far as my own thoughts, there is a lot I don’t know either. Let me tell you what I do know.
I know that for sure being gay was not a choice for me.
1. I know that I had my first fantasies about men at the age of 5.
2. I know that my parents noticed effeminate behavior in me (wearing dresses and wigs, pretending to be a girl during play) as early as age 2.
3. I know that when puberty hit, I was attracted to males instead of females. Automatically. I wasn’t abused, nor introduced to this in any way. It came as naturally as comes any person’s sexual attractions.
4. I am attracted to men (and not to women) on all sensual levels. Sight, sound (of voice), smell, etc. That means that this is something very deeply entrenched–it’s not something that can be learned.
So, yeah. I didn’t choose this. I just… would never have chosen this for myself. My life is filled with choices–I choose to love my wife every day, I chose to become a therapist, I chose to eat Haagen Dasz ice cream last weekend–but being sexually attracted to men? Was not a choice. On any level.
As far as spirit/body stuff, I will admit freely that I don’t have the answers.
I do have some suspicions, which I’ll share, but I reserve the right to change my mind about these things if more information and/or revelation comes to light.
I get the sense, based on some of the stuff I just mentioned, that my homosexuality is very much a body thing and not a spirit thing. I do have some questions around where my personality begins and where my same sex attraction ends as I outlined in this post about resurrection. But yeah, I am of the opinion that my homosexuality is a mortal condition, not something that will be indefinitely a part of my existence. I realize other gay people feel differently on this, and I totally respect their reasons why. Those reasons simply don’t resonate with me.
Anyway, I hope that answered your question. I’m sorry that the answer basically boils down to “I don’t know the answer to this question…” but thanks for giving me the chance to get some of my ideas out there.
In closing, here are some profesh pics of the girls (well, except for one. You’ll see what I mean…):
Reader Mary MacVoy from London, Ontario took our little Viva and spruced her up a bit:
Magical! Thanks Mary!