Someday this will be a graphic that says “Tuesday’s Top Ten” on it. That day is not today.

Ten things I’d rather be doing than studying for my licensing exam right now

10.  Peeling 4,000 potatoes. With a spork.

9. Reading the collected works of Snooki.

8. Crawling a mile. Around a track. Made of gravel. With shorts on.

7. Cleaning every bathroom in Downton Abbey.


6. Listening to Alicia Keys sing a crazy version of the National Anthem on repeat for five hours.

5. Med school

4. Shaving 400 poodles with a razor in a hot, wet sauna.

3. Testing the temperature of lava with my pinky toe.

2. Getting trained in the Dewey Decimal System. In Braille.

And finally,

1. Colonoscopy prep.

Got any of your own?