(“as” is supposed to be “has” in the title, but I thought the typo was so glaring and hilarious that I decided to leave it in)

All right, guys, I’m another step closer to becoming a world expert on sex.

Addiction. Sex addiction. Why do you guys keep forgetting that detail? GEEZ.

The good news?
I finished the horrendously long training that lasted from Wednesday through today this afternoon. The bad news? That was module two of four. So I have to do that two more times in the next year. And I’m paying thousands of dollars to do it. Basically, I’m a masochist. Or at least I’m learning how to treat masochists. You know, one of those two things.

Anyway, today we’re checkin in (sorry for the tardiness) and tomorrow I’m posting the FFAQ response, because it turns out that it’s surprisingly difficult to get all sentimental about my mission (which the question is about) when someone’s lecturing all about how repeatedly looking at porn and engaging in sex acts actually alters a person’s brain and then it takes years to get the brain back to normal after achieving sobriety, or how incredibly difficult it is for partners of addicts and how much pain and work they have to go through to heal, and other such things. (This paragraph was one sentence, and it was long. Cuz that’s how I roll.)

All right. Check in. Here are the rules:

When telling us how you are feeling you:

1. Can not say “good” or “fine”. 
2. Check in spiritually, physically and emotionally.
3. Make a realistic and achievable goal for yourself (which you can update us on next week.)
4. Can not cross talk. This means that while you might be moved by someone’s check-in, it is inappropriate to give feedback on what someone has shared (unless they specifically request it).
5. Remember, this is just for entertainment and is not  a supplement or replacement for therapy or other support from a mental health professional.

All right. Here goes:

Physically: I feel sore in my legs. From my work out on wednesday. I’m not kidding. It had been a very long time since I did squats and deadlifts apparently. Also, I feel rested because I took a very long nap today (during the Superbowl, shhhh don’t tell anyone). Overall, I’m feeling pleased with my physical situation.

Emotionally: I feel very relieved, and I feel great catharsis. I am very glad to have that training over with. Also, I was wrestling with some career decisions all week and I finally got some clarity on what I need to do today, so I feel like I can take a giant sigh of relief. I feel genuinely happy right now. Particularly happy, for some reason. While there are a lot of challenges in my life, there are also some incredible things going on. Also, I’m excited to spend the evening with Lolly and rest and connect and have fun and watch the final season of Downton. 

Spiritually: Very connected and very grateful. I fasted today about various things, as did Lolly. We both had some major insights as I said before and got some clear direction on what I’m supposed to be doing with a major part of my career. It’s always amazing to me when she and I fast and pray and come up with the exact same answers to questions about our life and future, often with the exact same random phrases having come to our minds. I also snuck into a sacrament meeting after the training ended and got to see someone be confirmed, which was really nice. And I had a really amazing conversation with my dad tonight about revelation versus cultural indoctrination.  

My goal was to write 10,000 words. I didn’t make it. That probably means I should have chosen a smaller goal.

This week, my goal is to study every day this week for my licensing exam on Thursday. I really, really want to pass. (Wouldn’t mind if you threw some positive thoughts and prayers my way on that one, actually. Thanks in advance.)

All right guys. Your turn. How are you feeling about things this fine Sunday evening? (Or this fine Monday, if you’re reading this tomorrow.)