10. You open a browser window to look up a word for something you are writing. Three hours later you find yourself reading a Wikipedia article on Megan Follows after having watched every youtube interview she’s ever done. (True story.)

9. You arrive late to that very important weekly meeting. Every. Single. Week. No matter what.


8. You can count on one hand the number of times you have gotten a school assignment done early.

7. You didn’t finish counting the number of times before getting distracted by that really weird spot on your pinky-finger-nail and forgetting what you were doing.

6. You feel hornswoggled every time you look at a clock.

5. In your youth you traveled by bus to an orchestra concert in which you were to play a solo, and when you got there, realized you forgot to bring your violin.


4. A person hushes you in a meeting because you accidentally find yourself clicking your pen, bouncing your leg, tapping the table, or making some other unconscious disruption. You apologize. Three minutes later, the same person hushes you again. You are mortified, apologize again and stop. Before the meeting is over, you realize you started doing it again, but this time nobody pointed it out because nobody can believe it’s actually happening.

3. Journal entry: March 3rd, 1988 (dictated to mom). “My lunchbox disappeared at school! I don’t know what happened to it. It just went away. (This is the fourth lunchbox this year.)”

2. You couldn’t finish reading this list without checking your email, updating Facebook or looking up the word hornswoggle.

And finally