All right, there were three gifts that I couldn’t not share from Christmastime.

Two are hilarious. One was really touching.

First, the touching. My sister-in-law Mickelle (whose blog you should definitely read) made this for me and Lolly:

The subtitle says: “A love story gone viral and how it changed minds and lives.”

She called it The Sentimental Weed.
In it is a bunch of the more meaningful comments I’ve gotten on this blog since last June intermixed with photos of my family, and photos from all the events we’ve been a part of since my coming out. It was really really neat to see all of that stuff compiled in such a beautiful way and Lolly and I were very moved. It was the perfect encapsulation of all of the amazing things that have happened to us over the last six months. I would never have thought of doing something like that myself, yet somehow it was the perfect gift I never knew I wanted.

Much thanks, Stella.

Okay, and now on to the ridiculous:

My BIL (I have good in-laws, can you tell?) Nate stayed up for hours and hours Christmas Eve working on a gift for me and he didn’t even draw my name in our family name-draw. Because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Here is me opening this gift:

Note the sugared cereal in the background. It’s a Weed family tradition. Except that when we were little, a box of sugared cereal was one of our presents. We were from Kearns, after all. 

When I opened his gift, I feasted my eyes upon this:

Yes, you are seeing a cross-stitch. And yes, it’s from a joke I told in this old post where I said I wanted that phrase cross-stitched and hung in my bathroom. And yes, as an added bonus, he also found a pattern for poop online and cross-stitched that sucker in as well.

I love it. Maybe a little too much. And rest assured, it will find a permanent home in my bathroom.

The final gift is so perfect I almost can’t believe it happened.

So there’s this white elephant gift exchange that some friends of ours do around Christmastime. And I have a loooong history of getting the most awkward gifts known to man at this gift exchange

The first notable gift I got was this one two years ago.

Yes, that is a vibrator.

And yes, I gave it as a prize in my 100th follower giveaway. It was pretty amazing, and the spirit of giving was in the air. As was a vibrator. After I mailed it. (Or wait, I think the winner picked it up in person, but that’s less funny…)

The next year, I got this:

Yes, that is a male thong.

It even has bells on it!

AND NOBODY KNEW I WAS GAY BACK THEN so Lolly and I laughed really, really hard and almost nobody understood why. It was tragic.

Anyway, we went this year thinking that it was gonna be really hard to top the previous two years. Yet, somehow I got the absolute perfect gift. Are you ready????

“Excellent source of sparkles!!”

You are correct. That is Unicorn Meat. I’m pretty sure I don’t have to explain why this was probably the most fitting gift ever this year. But wait there’s more! It actually opens up, and you get:

Unicorn haunch!!!!!

Don’t worry, it was a humane killing. Or so they claim.

A better, more fitting gift could not be imagined, methinks.

Wanna see the nutritional information and stuff? Of course you do!!!

So, yeah, I pretty much made out like a bandit this year. Again. I’m not sure why, but somehow this Christmas was one of the more magical, wonderful ones I’ve had since entering adulthood. My whole family was there (minus missionary Chad, but we got to talk to him) and it was just really chill and fun and my mom slept really well in the hotel even though she’s sick and my dad and I had some really great talks and everyone was happy and just glad to be together. And I really loved it. And these gifts were icing on the cake.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to go eat some unicorn steak… it’s so moist and delicious!