This is a post I wrote a couple of weeks ago. When we had lice and RSV. Not sure why I didn’t post it. Probably because life was CRAZY at that point.
So, since getting home from LA last week we’ve had some fun times.
Exhibit A: Lice.
Have you ever had lice in your house? It’s hell, let me tell you.
Also, a bit of trivia: guess which Ricki Lake show guests brought three girls to the dressing rooms with a lice infestation? The answer is (drumroll please):
We didn’t know we were hit till we got home. And then we did treatments on the girls (where when I say “we” I mean “Lolly”) and then we bagged everything cushioned into big plastic bags (where when I say “we” I mean “mostly Lolly”) and then we spent hours every day combing through the girls’ hair and nitpicking (never thought I’d “get” to use that term in its correct context) and then vacuuming everything in the world repeatedly. So, it’s been rough, but I think we’re in the clear. Thank heavens.
Exhibit B: RSV. Last night I was out doing something with my friend Konrad when I got a phone-call from a number I didn’t recognize. I let it go through to voicemail. And then felt like I should listen to it, immediately. So then I did, and it was Lolly saying that she was in Urgent Care because Anna was having breathing problems, and when Lolly took her in, they almost sent her to the ER, but then they decided to give her some breathing treatments there at the clinic instead. Lolly also said her phone was almost dead. And she gave no instructions as to what I was supposed to do.
Now, I don’t know if you’ve met me, but if you have, you know that I kind of crumble into a ball of inaction when 1. there is a crisis of any kind 2. I have to make a really quick decision regarding logistics or 3. one of my children is in danger. So basically, I was screwed.
The following conversation is an example of why I shouldn’t be trusted with anything serious, as well as why men shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions. Ever.
Me: …sits in silence after the phone message.
Konrad: So, what did she say?
Me: *looks up, stunned that someone had addressed him* Oh, it was Lolly and, uh, something’s wrong with Anna. Lolly has her in urgent care.
Konrad: Should we go over there?
Me: Uh, I don’t know. She didn’t say what to do. And also, her phone died so I can’t call her. And also, I just accidentally deleted the message she sent.
Konrad: Maybe we should just wait for her to call again, then. Could be that if I drop you off down there, they could be on their way back and you guys just miss each other.
Konrad: I hope Anna’s okay.
Me: Uh… something about breathing. I’m not sure, my brain turned off while I was listening to the message. And also I deleted it. Because I’m an awesome parent.
At this point I get a call from Lolly telling me that she’s probably gonna be there for a while and asking me to come.
Me: All right. That was her. She wants me to come. Can you drop me off over there?
We buzz over there feeling like heroes. And then I head in and after talking to the nurses for a few minutes and getting caught up on what was happening Lolly was like “Hey honey. Can you take the other two girls home?”
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…… guess who didn’t have the other car?
Luckily our good friend Colleen Gomes came and picked us up. Because she’s awesome like that.
Anyway, the joke here is that neither Konrad or I had any sense that I should have taken my own car out there–in fact, to the contrary we were both kind of thinking it was a lucky break that he could drop me off so that the whole family could all come home together–but the second he told this story to his wife, Ashlee, she was like “Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute. You mean he didn’t take his own car? Lolly’s probably been there for hours. She needs him to take the girls home…”
Men are geniuses. Or genii if you want to get really fancy about pluralization.
Anyway, it turned out that Anna has RSV. So, she got breathing treatments and has an inhaler and some really nasty tasting medicine, and she’s doing much, much better.
This is current me again. Hi! Not too much happening at Weed central right now. But having re-read this post I can officially say I’m glad we don’t have diseases or parasites or bugs living on us or anything at the moment. And yes, I did just knock on a wooden picture frame.
A couple of interesting tidbits:
Did I ever tell you we were asked to be on Wife Swap? We ended up not feeling good about that, but it would probably have been really funny. And awkward. And would have ruined our children’s lives.
We were just asked to be on another show. So, back to the drawing board trying to feel out whether or not we should do it. It’s interesting to see what we end up feeling good about and what we end up not feeling good about. I’ll keep you updated.
All right. That’s about it. Get ready for a check-in tomorrow! If you haven’t done your goal, you have one more night…