Lice and RSV. You know, the usual…

This is a post I wrote a couple of weeks ago. When we had lice and RSV. Not sure why I didn’t post it. Probably because life was CRAZY at that point.

So, since getting home from LA last week we’ve had some fun times.

Exhibit A: Lice.

Have you ever had lice in your house? It’s hell, let me tell you.

Also, a bit of trivia: guess which Ricki Lake show guests brought three girls to the dressing rooms with a lice infestation? The answer is (drumroll please):

These people! 
(And by these people I mean Lolly and me. Not Lolly’s mom or sister, also in the shot.)

We didn’t know we were hit till we got home. And then we did treatments on the girls (where when I say “we” I mean “Lolly”) and then we bagged everything cushioned into big plastic bags (where when I say “we” I mean “mostly Lolly”) and then we spent hours every day combing through the girls’ hair and nitpicking (never thought I’d “get” to use that term in its correct context) and then vacuuming everything in the world repeatedly. So, it’s been rough, but I think we’re in the clear. Thank heavens.

Exhibit B: RSV. Last night I was out doing something with my friend Konrad when I got a phone-call from a number I didn’t recognize. I let it go through to voicemail. And then felt like I should listen to it, immediately. So then I did, and it was Lolly saying that she was in Urgent Care because Anna was having breathing problems, and when Lolly took her in, they almost sent her to the ER, but then they decided to give her some breathing treatments there at the clinic instead. Lolly also said her phone was almost dead. And she gave no instructions as to what I was supposed to do.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve met me, but if you have, you know that I kind of crumble into a ball of inaction when 1. there is a crisis of any kind 2. I have to make a really quick decision regarding logistics or 3. one of my children is in danger. So basically, I was screwed.

The following conversation is an example of why I shouldn’t be trusted with anything serious, as well as why men shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions. Ever.

Me: …sits in silence after the phone message.

Konrad: So, what did she say?

Me: *looks up, stunned that someone had addressed him* Oh, it was Lolly and, uh, something’s wrong with Anna. Lolly has her in urgent care.

Konrad: Should we go over there?

Me: Uh, I don’t know. She didn’t say what to do. And also, her phone died so I can’t call her. And also, I just accidentally deleted the message she sent.

Konrad:  Maybe we should just wait for her to call again, then. Could be that if I drop you off down there, they could be on their way back and you guys just miss each other.

Me: Exactly.

Konrad: I hope Anna’s okay.

Me: Me too.
Konrad: What were her symptoms? 

Me: Uh… something about breathing. I’m not sure, my brain turned off while I was listening to the message. And also I deleted it. Because I’m an awesome parent.

At this point I get a call from Lolly telling me that she’s probably gonna be there for a while and asking me to come.

Me: All right. That was her. She wants me to come. Can you drop me off over there?

Konrad: Absolutely.

We buzz over there feeling like heroes. And then I head in and after talking to the nurses for a few minutes and getting caught up on what was happening Lolly was like “Hey honey. Can you take the other two girls home?”

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…… guess who didn’t have the other car?

Luckily our good friend Colleen Gomes came and picked us up. Because she’s awesome like that.

Anyway, the joke here is that neither Konrad or I had any sense that I should have taken my own car out there–in fact, to the contrary we were both kind of thinking it was a lucky break that he could drop me off so that the whole family could all come home together–but the second he told this story to his wife, Ashlee, she was like “Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute. You mean he didn’t take his own car? Lolly’s probably been there for hours. She needs him to take the girls home…”

Men are geniuses. Or genii if you want to get really fancy about pluralization.

Anyway, it turned out that Anna has RSV. So, she got breathing treatments and has an inhaler and some really nasty tasting medicine, and she’s doing much, much better.

This is current me again. Hi! Not too much happening at Weed central right now. But having re-read this post I can officially say I’m glad we don’t have diseases or parasites or bugs living on us or anything at the moment. And yes, I did just knock on a wooden picture frame.

A couple of interesting tidbits:

Did I ever tell you we were asked to be on Wife Swap? We ended up not feeling good about that, but it would probably have been really funny. And awkward. And would have ruined our children’s lives.

We were just asked to be on another show.  So, back to the drawing board trying to feel out whether or not we should do it. It’s interesting to see what we end up feeling good about and what we end up not feeling good about. I’ll keep you updated.

All right. That’s about it. Get ready for a check-in tomorrow! If you haven’t done your goal, you have one more night…


  1. Much as I love Wife Swap — and make no mistake about it, I freaking LOVE Wife Swap — that seems like a very reasonable decision. Looking forward to updates on the other thing, whatever it is!

  2. wife swap is still on??? i thought that was like 10 yrs ago. shows what i know!

    lice sucks for sure. hope you got rid of it.

    hope anna is feeling better too. 🙂

  3. Good call on not going on Wife Swap. Too sensationalistic.
    My baby girl got metapheumovirus, which is similar to RSV, when whe was 8 weeks old. It sucked royally. Having to deal with lice and RSV in the same year is just wrong.

  4. After about the 4th time of my kids getting lice (it was a bad year), I quit using the chemicals on their heads (did you know lice killer stuff is a neurotoxin?) and just resorted to strictly combing their hair every single day for two weeks with a lice comb. The boys weren't so bad because they had short hair, but the girls both had long, thick hair and it took me a couple of hours every night to do the combing.

    Oh, and they weren't reinfecting themselves – it was because there's always that one person who doesn't deal with their kid(s) lice and they keep bringing it to school.

    The worst time, and my kids didn't get it, thank goodness, was when a little girl at church had lice and was in Primary when her Primary teacher noticed it. Her hair was teeming with lice and she was scratching pretty bad. Primary had to notify the girl's parents as well as all the parents of the other children in Primary about the lice.

    1. Really good tip about the shampoos, IP. They are hideous and useless and the lice are just building immunity to them anyway The ONLY thing is to absolutely slather the head in conditoner and comb them out before rinsing. The conditioner really helps – it makes the hair so slippery they can't get a grip. Do that regularly until you haven't seen any wildlife for about a fortnight and you've won.

      I did read a while back about a new chemical-free headlice treatment developed at, I think, the university of Utah. It involved heat-drying them. I'd love to know more about that.

  5. Our daughter had lice three times when she was little….same thing happened to us InkstainedPsyche…a child at school was nicely passing it continually around. Nothing much strikes as much fear as "OH I think you have LICE"!

  6. Our daughter had lice three times when she was little….same thing happened to us InkstainedPsyche…a child at school was nicely passing it continually around. Nothing much strikes as much fear as "OH I think you have LICE"!

  7. Hi guys~ Just wanted you to know that ever since I started using Paul Mitchell tea tree shampoos for my kids in school, we have never had another outbreak. Lice hate tea tree stuff I guess. But also before I style/comb their hair in the AM I spray it with a combo in a bottle I made with a litte water,lemongrass,coconut and lavendar….guess they hate that too:)

  8. We used olive oil. Soaked the noggin, put on a shower cap, and nit picked and washed it out next morning. Bye-bye lice, hello shiney and super soft hair! It was a win-win situation for us! (The lice shampoo isn't very effective at times, lice have gotten resistant. Olive Oil plugs their little breathers and they die. And the nits are super easy to take out after olive oil all night!)

  9. Wife Swap? Even just imagining you guys on there, I already feel terrible for that poor other mother out that would be replaced by Lolly, the superwife/supermom/supermodel/super-everything.

  10. I remember lice. That was an adventure. Imagine long hair. Long very curly hair. Long very curly fine hair that's fairly thick and when I was a kid could second as a micro-jungle. Kay, it could still second as a micro jungle. But then it actually had micro beasts and I was not into deforestation.

    Anyways, I'm pretty sure my mom had to use every commercial bottle of lice shampoo and then bought a prescription treatment before those suckers died.

  11. Good call on the "Wife Swap" thing .. that show is FULL of creepy people who live in creepy relationships!! I was PTA president a zillions times and we had a vendetta against lice at the school … I am now considered the neighborhood "expert" on lice (oh joy!) and get calls about it often! Helpful tip … you don't need to "bag" stuff up any more … a trip through a warm dryer will have the same effect … pillows, stuffed animals, etc. MUCH easier and quicker! Glad everyone is back to semi-normal!

  12. Aunt Sue
    The lice thing is awful. But I found that Head and Shoulders really works. Unravels the nits. And they seem to hate it and won't jump into hair washed twice a week with it. Also, braid that hair. Loose long hair makes it easy for the nasty things to climb on. Braid it!

  13. Thank you for posting this… with all the serious issues we all are constantly faced with, its nice to get some comic relief… and I'm referring to your manner of writing, not what your poor girls have had to deal with. 🙂 Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it today.

  14. Lice like clean hair so the more hair product the less likely for lice to stick around. I am all about natural products (chemicals are making my life miserable) and so I will keep these tips. So far my son has escaped lice and I have never had it either – want to keep it that way.

  15. you are hilarious.
    also? just thinking about wife swap makes me laugh. a lot. hilarious.

    and thanks for the reminder to finish my goal. i got one of two done. lets hope i finish the other one tonight 🙂

  16. We just got lice two weeks ago. Sheer panic runs through you. I did the immediate kit/poison from the drug store. Then talked to a friend who explained the olive oil treatment. But its every night for a week, then every other night for two weeks. Everyone in the family (with hair) needs to do the treatment. Wish I would have known before coating their heads in poison.

    Irony is, we use tea tree shampoo & spray on the kids. Forgot one day & infected the next. My heart goes out to anyone going through it.

    Can't imagine RSV on top of it. Glad that it is all behind you!

  17. I think its cute.

    Head down to Show lice free.
    Get styled on set.
    Come home with lice.

    But you think YOU guys brought it down with you.

    Wait a sec….

    – Grey

  18. Dude! I think I am an equally awesome parent as you, also my decision making skills make yours seem like you have great wisdom, thanks for posting!
    Also, my wife may be one of your fan girls, that is, if we could ever get out of the house…


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