This is a picture of Viva after she hit her face on the piano while pretending she was a kitty. (Notice the dark bruise on her cheek.)

And this is a picture of Tessa after she face planted while running at the park.

This is the conversation Lolly had with them. At Walmart. In line. Surrounded by people. One of whom was an old, judgmental lady with bifocals and a cardigan who we’re pretty sure was totally scandalized.

Viva: Mommy, can I have gum?

Lolly: No, Viva.

Viva: But Mommy, I want gum. Pleeeease!

Lolly: Viva. We we have gum at home. We’re not buying gum.

Viva: Mommy PLEASE!!

Lolly: Viva, no. You may not… wait, sweetie. What’s that on your face? You have a big bruise! What happened?

Viva:  I really want gum!

Lolly: But Viva, what happened to your face?

Viva: …I got this when you were mad at me.

Lolly (feels urge to get angry)(decides to remain calm given the implications): Um, sweetie… that’s not true. *laughs fakely* You know that’s not true.

Viva: Yes it is.

Lolly: No, Viva. It’s not.

Viva: Mommy, can I wear these new sun glasses you bought me…

Seriously. Go up and look at those pictures again, and tell me hearing that conversation in line at Wal Mart wouldn’t make you consider calling CPS.

Then later on that day, Anna was playing and we heard a loud thud. We came into the room she was in and she was like “I just hit my face on the door!”

Not. even. making. this. up. (Did those periods help that sentence feel more dramatic? Sure hope so.)

Bottom line: sometimes kids hit their faces on stuff. And it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Unless you are a bad parent who abuses your children. Then it means you are a criminal. And you need to stop that. Or I will turn you in because I’m a mandated reporter.

Glad I could clear this up.

In other news, I had another whole post written today in response to the FFAQ question, but then Lolly read it and was like “this is too important and it’s not good enough” and I decided she was right. So, I scrapped it and started over. But rest assured, it is in the wings. Thanks for your patience.

Also, the conference I went to last weekend? Probably the single most influential professional conference I’ve ever been to. I’m definitely in the right field, y’all.