Ricki Lake UPDATED

So, I’m in the airport on the way down to California because tomorrow Lolly and I are going to be on The New Ricki Lake show.

No, this is not the 90’s. Yes, this is actually happening.

On my Facebook page, I mentioned that there was an 8% chance that this was a set-up and that I would get there and someone would tell me that one of my children wasn’t mine. And then I’d have to be outraged and violently throw a chair and get tackled by security.

However, a few commenters (on Facebook and Twitter) proposed some even better scenarios:

–Surprise makeover?
–Suprise 90’s makeover? (Hammer pants!)
–LIVE paternity test for my girls?
–I meet the child I allegedly sired 16 years ago?

So, clearly there are options.

Or, I might just end up talking a lot about being gay and married to my amazing wife.

In other news, I still have ADD. Wanna know how I know? Because I packed three entire clothes options for tomorrow (that’s what they asked for–trust me, I don’t care enough about clothes to ever do that on my own), and as I was walking out the door to go to the airport I was unsettled, sure that I was forgetting something. I got out to my ride who was like “did you bring your razor?” and I was like “Ay Carumba! That’s it! Thank you so much for saving me!” Ran in, grabbed said razor, grabbed eyebrow/nose clippers for good measure, and hopped in the car.

As we pulled into the airport, I realized the minor thing I had forgotten. Underwear. 

So, I’m Mormon, right? If you know much about Mormons you know why this is a problem.

I figure my options are:

1. wear dirty underwear

2. somehow miraculously acquire new undergarments

or my personal favorite

3. go commando on Ricki Lake.

I’ll let you know how things end up. Unless I forget to.  Because obviously I have no attention span or organizational skills whatsoever.

Oh, also, this is a picture I took at the airport. I thought it was kind of cool to be watching the debate with all those people, and it was nice to see a whole crowd of people who cared enough about the election to listen to what the candidates have to say.

Good for you, SeaTac Airport Americans. You kinda inspired me today.

Forgot to mention, I’m not sure when the episode is airing, but when I find out, I’ll let you know immediately. So you can watch it, and try to guess just how many layers of clothes separate you from… me.

(Also, if you’re into praying or whatever, pray that we’ll do well and say good things and that the visit will be productive and something all involved feel good about. And if you’re not into praying, toss us out some positive thoughts, yo. Thanks.)

UPDATED: Although we don’t have a car, Lolly’s parents have stopped by an LDS Distribution Center on their way up to see the taping and saved the day! No need to go commando!


  1. Hand wash those bad boys tonight and let them air dry. You'll need all your wits about you tomorrow without worrying about stinky underwear or dressing commando in front of the backstage crew.

    Aren't there temples and distributions centers in or around almost every major city in California? Guess it really depends on how much time you have… or go Commando! HAMMER PANTS, COMMANDO STYLE! Well, good luck with the show and have fun, or at least enjoy your time in California.

  3. Actually, taking a page from Ann's book would be good because you could wear some Officer Dangle shorts. Play the part a little, ya know? Make things more interesting for Ricki's audience. 😉

  4. I an not Mormon, but I have a few friends who are and I have a very basic understanding of temple garments. I know garments arent the point of Josh's post (good luck and have great fun on Ricki Lake-I love her!) but I have two questions about the garments that I have always been curious about, but have never had the guts to ask.

    I understand that garments are considered sacred and arent supposed to be spoken about in a casual way, so I understand if no one can answer, but if anyone can, I promise that my questions are serious and reverent.

    1. Does the top part of the woman's garment have a bra built in, or is one worn separately under the garment?

    2. Are there special maternity garments? Since they seem fairly form fitting, how does one allow for a growing belly?

    Thank you

    1. Okay guys, I opened the door unintentionally, but now I'm closing it. Thanks for the respectful tone. I think this topic is too sensitive to be discussed beyond this point (and thanks to those who participated so far) but I'll eliminate any further discussion.

    2. did you give out your blog address on Ricki Lake? Now that you've gone down the road of daytime tv, you can probably expect more questions and more aggressive questions. That said, I have no idea what her ratings are like. But even say if a million people see it, I don't know, maybe like 1% of those people come to your blog. My math is terrible – what is one percent of a million – 10,000 people? Or say even .01 percent – one thousand people. And say 1% of those people commen. That is one hundred people wanting to know things about Mormonism and being gay and Mormon. And maybe about underwear too. Do you think that this all might become somewhat tricky? Ricki Lake is certainly a few steps up from Jerry Springer but it is stil a daytime talk show whose primary goal is ratings through sensationalism. You have opened that door. I honestly think a few folks asking pretty respectful and friendly questions about underwear is pretty tame

    3. Indeed he is the driver's seat on the blog. But now that he has chosen to do a daytime talk show, he will not be able to control the reaction anywhere else. Are people going to have a greater understanding of Mormonism because of this appearance? Does he actually come out and say that he is married to a woman because he believes homosexuality (yes, yes, acting on homosexuality) is a sin and abhorent to God? Does that happen to come up? I am curious I must say!
      Daytime TV is like a monster in a way – sensationalistic and just kinda trashy. Josh isn't in the driver's seat in terms of how it is edited or exploited. Is Mormonism going to be represented properly on a daytime talk show? Is anything represented properly on a daytime talk show? Now mind you, the audience for daytime tv is generally middle-aged conservative women so Josh's story might just come out okay there. Or not. I guess we'll know when we know. Heck, even Oprah did tons of stories on gay this and gay that because it got great ratings.
      People hear the word gay and they jump all over it for some reason.

  5. Aww, and I was totally expecting your bloggy fans to show up at the airport/taping/your hotel (creepy!) bearing gifts of undies for you. There's a Josh Weed/Tom Jones joke in here somewhere, I can just tell.

  6. Whew! Thank heaven for Lolly's parents. Only had one occasion like this. Missed a connecting flight home. Luggage made it on the next flight but we didn't. Had to stay in a hotel overnight. Didn't wash unders but took them off to airdry 'cause they were sweaty from traveling.

  7. Wow Josh, I had no idea you that you considered me to be your father-in-law. Part of me wants to feel honored, since Dad is amazing, but still… I don't recall being the man who fathered Lolly. =)

  8. It's a good thing that you didn't get into a car accident with those dirty undies on (you know…because isn't that what our mothers always warned us about?). 🙂
    Take care and hope you enjoyed your trip.

  9. My husband and I are both dipped in ADD sauce and we have been on multiple vacations missing important items like tickets, car keys, medications, etc. We knew we'd passed it on good to our daughter when we arrived at our hotel, unloaded the car, and realized she'd left her whole suitcase sitting in the entryway to our home. Good times.

  10. I respect your wanting to keep this door closed in order to keep the conversation from getting heated and/or disrespectful. I am genuinely interested in understanding the topic and was wondering if anybody might be able to direct me to a resource where I can find more information without opening any unnecessary conversations here. I have lots of (respectful) questions.

    Also, good luck if you haven't gone on yet, or I hope you had fun! I you have already gone on! I look forward to seeing you on TV soon!

    1. In this case consumer reports would be God and yes I highly recommend going there too. But if I want to know about the Catholic church I would go to an official catholic site, yes. If I wanted to know about Muslims, I would most definitely ask a Muslim. If someone has questions about the LDS church it would be a little ridiculous to go elsewhere wouldn't it. BQ you need to relax. I'm sorry you have such a hatred for all things "Mormon" but feeding off of these sites is not going to bring peace into your life. You seem to be on a constant state of angry on here. I can't imagine it's good for you. I'm sure this person knows they can reach out to you to receive your bitter take on all things Mormon. So you've done your "civic" duty.

    2. Takes one to know one, BQ. I was actually giving advice. #1 that these sites and Im talking about this site, is obviously a source of stress in your life so why do you bother? What you think were attacks were accurate obversations of your time on here. If your comments aren't flat out erased, they are typically very aggressive, sarcastic, and argumentative. Arguing that is pointless. Next, a member of the church or a church sponsored site is obviously the best place to go even if and especially if the topic is sacred. If honestly, if something is sacred to someone else, maybe it deserves a little respect. I have zero interested in wasting my time scouring Internet sites trying to discover the "deep secrets" of other peoples religions. Please. Finally, links to Masonic ceremonies are absolutely fascinating to me. Just goes to show some things have been around long long long before any of us were born.

    3. And, yea, pretty sure it was your lovely comment that started moderation in the first place. Way to being harmony to a group!!

    4. I agree. But you haven't read all of her comments, being that a number of them had to be erased. Not really fostering a safe environment for other people is she?

    5. There's obviously something that keeps bringing you here BQ. (BTW different anon). Maybe you miss something?…and are in denial. Why do all things have to be proven to you? There are many things in the LDS church that are logical…that there are evidences of the past proven in science today. It just doesn't seem to me like you are happy. Exmo and postmo are definitely not what I would classify as "positive" or even "accurate" sites. Some things on there have been proven to be out and out lies. If leaving the church and being on these sites has brought you peace, why do you come here to stir the pot? You pick on people for punctuation, grammer,spelling, their beliefs, how they FEEL when they do their check ins. Half the time you are not even providing support. My apologies if I am reading you wrong, but I don't see how this can bring you peace and happiness in your life. Waiting around for someone to comment so that you can jump on them, spending lots of time typing your responses….seems like time better spent exercising, being with your fam, learning something new. etc. I wish you the best. I personally choose not to come back here Josh. I have been with you since your coming out post, have read every single post and comment…and after deep introspection have decided I cannnot stay. I like the progressive conversations, the shoulders people give to others to cry on (so to speak), and the opportunity to know that unicorns do exist. I support Josh and Lolly 100%, but I will not waste any more time getting caught up in such silliness between commenters.

    6. There are several anons posting. I think the overall theme is respect. Just have more respect for beliefs that people hold sacred. I am not intimidated in the least by opposing viewpoints. In the the right tone and atmosphere I think it is a great learning opportunity. But I do not like things that are sacred to me, to be mocked. I don't care how stupid you think they are. Just be respectful. Some of your comments have made my head spin because they were just so rude and belittling and a complete mockery of things that are important to me. Doesn't threaten me at all, just really bothers me that someone could be so careless with sacred things. Even if they aren't sacred to you.

  11. I am now about 99% positive that I have ADD. It may sound silly but the pieces never fit together. Thank you for being so candid. I am also LDS and I have many many friends who have same gender attraction. Reading this blog helps me in so many ways. Thank you again for being so open. I know I have been blessed by reading your blog!

  12. To be fair, (diff anon), I think Bjorge Queen has added insight and depth to many of the conversations but has added sarcasm and rude remarks to just as many. You are valued here. Just please be more respectful of other people. Remember your audience. If this place was 90% Catholic would I NEVER make light of ANYTHING that was sacred to them. Why on earth would I want to offend someone? I don't care if a religion is founded on SESAME STREET, if it is sacred to someone else, that is something you need to respect. If you could do that, instead of belittling and making light of people and beliefs and traditions, you would be more of a welcome asset. I know you feel like you are protecting people and you HAVE helped people who are struggling but there is NO NEED to attack while you are doing so. Please, just be kind. Please, just acknowledge that while you might find some beliefs to be absolutely ridiculous, other people absolutely have their hearts wrapped around them. JUST BE KIND. I welcome differing view points. It is fun and fascinating and everyone learns but there is a huge different between a healthy discussion and a battle. JUST BE KIND. If you are, other people will follow suit.

  13. Wow, you just don't rest do you. The theme, which seems to be coming from several people (and apparently Josh, since your comments are repeatedly deleted) is to CHILL OUT. This is supposed to be a safe place where ideas are explored and respect is fostered. I don't care if you hate Mormons. Treat other people with kindness. And if someone founded a religion on Sesame Street, no I would not get on websites and slander them. Who cares? I would love to humor you and waste more time talking to a brick wall, but I don't want to go back through all the posts you've made to show you how rude you have been. Taken it from all the comments, take it from Josh deleting your comments, take it from you lovely comment about temple clothes which started the whole moderation process to begin with. If you want to have success in what you say, START by saying things people will listen to. Trust me, I've spent my life defending my beliefs from lovely people such as yourself. It doesn't threaten me or make me embarrassed or uncomfortable. But when people are brazen and rude, I just ASK for a better learning climate. This is not fostering it. And esp on a website like this where people are truly trying to come together and understand each other! People with OPPOSITE viewpoints on so many key things in life, this of ALL places needs to start with respect.

    1. I'm signing out. Just think before you speak. It's not NECESSARY to make fun of temple clothes, or garments, or people who wear them, or the temple ceremony, or Bishop's counsel, or anything and everything that has anything to do with the LDS church. You can say what you want to say, without mocking people. Because when something is SACRED to someone else (perhaps you have nothing sacred in your life) it is offensive when people talk mock it. Even something as simple as calling garments G's or making fun of Ann Romney because her skirt was inches above her knee. You see that as a stupid, sarcastic joke, but for someone who believes these things are SACRED it isn't funny. And it's a mockery. Try your best to think of SOMETHING, ANYTHING in your life that is sacred to you. Even if it's just a memory, or a child or a person and follow the golden rule.

    2. Yet a diff anon….bq…u seem to have a lot to say between this and other sites?? Ever consider having your own blog??

    3. And now my phone is posting below. I lose on the Mac or phone today. Oh well. My last post is below. I wrote josh an email and apologized for high jacking so much of this important post. Out of respect for him and what he is trying to do here I hope we can all be more accepting. My last comment is below. Have a great life!

    4. I told you, my last comment on the topic is below. That's what I have to say about your presentation. And if you truly can't see from anyone else's perspective, even people who are truly on your side and trying to help, sounds like a personal problem. Narcissism comes to mind.

    5. Now you are the victim??? Wow. We have been asking for respect. Now that we are tired of the hostile and venomous comments and tell you such, we are attacking you?? Three comments removed this month "is all" you say? And if it were driving? Being pulled over three times a month would be acceptable?? Nobody here is gay bashing. Nobody here is providing others wit website info where they can go and find out how to leave the gay community..telling them that its (oops, you'd prefer it's) wrong. Yet you are constantly doing that to the mormons on here. Seems contradictory, no? Im out

  14. Ive never been deleted. If it makes you happy I can make up a name to a private profile to hide my comments behind as well. I don't see much of a difference. Maybe I'll be Bjorge Queen 2. I used to travel the world teaching communication. The key to a successful speaker is not what they think they said. It's what the audience took away from it. You are losing your audience and not because of your repeated attempts to blame embarrassment or denial. Anyone who has been a member for any amount of time is used to attacks. And having lived in 11 states and 4 countries I can say I'm not exactly as sheltered and naive as you seem to think lds people are. I've probably witnessed and experIenced more than you ever will but you have no clue, just try to throw stereotypes. Look, I believe in truth. Like I've said before, I believe we will all come to a place where we are comfortable with what we believe it true or we will keep searching. I believe we are blessed with truth as we are ready for it, receive it, and live it. We are all in different stages of truth seeking. If you are trying to guide people to the truth you currently hold dear, you need to work on your presentation. I agree with Tammy on that one. And as I continue on my quest for truth (being lds is only the beginning in an exciting journey for me) I will defend the place I have come to and accepted as truth for me, as you will for you. But in the process I will respect others right to their journey, giving insight and help along the way in a positive and constructive manner. You can too.

    1. You are completely ignoring the point of the entire comment. Exasperating. Truly. At some time in your life please see that other people are Makin honest attempts to give you helpful advice. Yet you continue to talk on circles instead resppnding to helpful advice from both sides! How you remain married is a mystery to me. I can't handle the narcissism.

    2. Oh and PS any attempts I've made to give you examples you shot down. And that's what I mean by narcissism, just because you don't think referring to sacred things in a casual way is offensive, certainly doesn't mean other people don't. It's not all about you 🙂 If you ask for something, you can't turn around and say, "Nah, that's not offensive". Do you see how you run around in circles? It takes TWO seconds to find examples. Stereotype, jeeze, just look up a paragraph: "But I'm not just going to take your word for it. Haven't you been listening? I don't do that anymore." Yes, because that's what Mormons do, right? And you'll come back and say you were referring to yourself but BQ, hello, in EVERYTHING you say and write about the LDS church you do this. You imply major steretypes about us being judgmental, gossiping, only doing what we're told….the list in endless. AGAIN, I will repeat until YOU actually give a real response. "The key to a successful speaker is not what they think they said. It's what the audience took away from it." AND finally, since you obviously didn't read it before…"I believe we are blessed with truth as we are ready for it, receive it, and live it. We are all in different stages of truth seeking. If you are trying to guide people to the truth you currently hold dear, you need to work on your presentation. I agree with Tammy on that one. And as I continue on my quest for truth (being lds is only the beginning in an exciting journey for me) I will defend the place I have come to and accepted as truth for me, as you will for you. But in the process I will respect others right to their journey, giving insight and help along the way in a positive and constructive manner. You can too."

    3. We're done here. You refuse to have an intelligent conversation or acknowledge anything I've tried to say to help you. This is pointless.

    4. You may call me Cathy, which is, in fact my real name. Any other anon remarks will not be coming from me. Thank you for the giant waste of time. I hope you learn to recognize when people really are trying to give you helpful advice. Doesn't look like that's going to happen any time soon. Good luck!

    5. Because you cant let it rest, i will say i have no desire to research your comments for the very best use of your disrespect and mockery. Really? Are you 15? I'd rather poke myself in the eye. All I had to do was look up a paragraph to find an example. I repeat again, "the key to a successful speaker is not what they think they said, it's what the audience took away from it". Don't quit your day job 🙂 Cathy

    6. I have nothing more to say 🙂 but thanks for the convo! Cathy ps if we could really sit down and talk rather than blog I'll bet it would be an interesting conversation. Maybe even fun! This format isn't working too well for us.

    7. Oh don't worry. If I happen upon something else that I feel compelled to discuss I won't be shy 🙂 and I'll put my name next to it so you know it's me 🙂 minus this week I'm actually rarely on here but maybe you'll see me again! Cathy

    8. No coward here. I have a life though. No alterior motives, don't belong to some group, or whatever else you are conjuring up. I am a person who visits a few blogs, rarely comments, doesn't facebook or anything else…therefore no profile to sign up with. I'm the annon that didn't use an apostrophe, I'm also the anon who said they would be leaving. And I will as soon as this thread moves on. I'm no coward and have no clue what in the world you are referring to above. Absolute rediculousness.

  15. Diff anon here again. Let us know when u r ready to quit running circles and have a meaningful conversation.i believe you are a smart person bq..id really enjoy a convo that isnt so one sided and laced with venom. You obviously enjoy egging peops on (or do u prefer stirring the hearts of children to anger?) . I hope that one day u find happiness.

  16. okay. Anon, this is Karen here. As you know, I have been known for egging more than a few people on here myself. This has resulted in more than a few of my comments being deleted and I'm actually fine with that. I can get carried away, absolutely. I can get obsessive about commenting on here and that is helpful to no one, especially myself. It just makes me angrier and angrier and so I comment more and on and on. The thing about anger, I've found for me, is that the more I feed it, the worse it gets. The best comment that I ever posted on here is the one where I did a check in. I loved that, that was amazing.
    This doesn't mean that I stop expressing my poit of view – not at all. But I find that if I get too obsessed with making sure my point of view is heard, then that just ends up messing up my head and not convincing anyone of anything.
    This is not about sides or saying that I agree with people's stands on things on here. I don't. But when this blog and the comments become too much for me, I try to back off for my sake, not for anyone else's.
    I have a pretty good personal understanding of anxiety, depression and OCD. In a very touching comment awhile back, you mentioned that you were suffering with some things and it was very real and very raw.
    This other stuff though – this anger, this constant mocking – is even exhausting me. ME! Me who has had comments deleted because I often go down a similar road.
    Can you step back at all – even for a millisecond and see that a. you are not convincing anyone of anything and b. you are probably simply revving your own brain up in a rather destructive way. I say probably because I don't know for sure obviously but if I look at my own experience, I know well for revving up my own brain. I understand completely the kneejerk reaction that the need to respond angrilly is – such a fast reaction that for me personally, I've lost friends in the past because of my inability to not, well, react kneejerk angrily.
    It will be tempting I suspect (because it sure would be for me if someone were telling me this) to respond intensely to me as well and to feel that I am also now against you. That may well be what your brain is going to tell you but it is not the reality of what I am saying. What I am saying is fo your own sake, stop. I'm not saying you should stop commenting but just stop the rage filled responses. If it is exhausting just for me to read them, I can only imagine what it feels like to be experiencing and writing them.
    and on a side but important note, realistically, I can see Josh decidig to delete this entire post because yes, because of your comments.

    1. BQ – you have chosen to not hear (or read really) a word I wrote. I went out on a bit of a personal limb and shared some of my own struggles. I know that I can become so wrapped up in 'why are people persecuting me? I'm not doing anything wrong?" that i find it impossible to see what is so clear to others. I've had a very close friend give this rather good analogy – it's like I'm on the bus and have my foot out and keep tripping people but I for whatever reason don't even realize that my foot is out, let alone that i'm tripping people. My good friends are kind enough to see beyond that but it is not the place of commenters on a blog to have to look beyond it. In a way, BQ,you act as a mirror for me which is good because it stops me in my tracks.
      I am not persecuting you in any way. And as mine are often times, your personal struggles are all over the way you are writing. Your final sentence reads as though you are trying to make me feel guilty but again, I won't and can't engage that.
      I'm going to leave it at that and not engage with you further because it will just get me into the spiral i referred to above and it is my responsibility to keep myself out of that. And so, for my own sanity, I am actually once and for all going to say goodbye to this blog. not just because of BQ of course although that has certainly clarified to me the ways in which I have allowed my commenting on here to become destructive to myself. oh and also the homophobia! had to get that last shot in!
      good luck, josh. you really do seem like a nice guy.

  17. per bq's comments about there being more going on here than we no, sounds like paranoia. and how did this blog' comments become a forum for BQ to expres her feelings that everyone is against her?

  18. I always enjoyed hearing BQ's responses to the postings. I almost never agreed, but I was able to see a perspective outside of my own. That is a rare and wonderful opportunity.

    Posting styles don't really bother me, one way or another. BQ (or anyone else) cannot offend me, if I choose not to be offended.

    I see that BQ has deleted all her comments on this thread, so I didn't read any of them. But… I really hope that BQ doesn't leave. Variety is an amazing way to see life.

  19. I agree with anonymmous at 11:25. It seems that sometimes people post comments because they need attention or to vent their free floating anger which isn't necessarily a bad thing although I would argue that looking for attention in cyberspace with a bunch of strangers is not really the best way to get it. Where it becomes a problem though is when someone basically hijacks a comments thread and makes it all about them and their issues about how they feel persecuted by other commenters. And these comments appear often mere seconds after someone else has commented so you just kinda know the person is hovering over their computer just waiting to argue. It's like they take up all of the air in the room. Not good for anyone else.

  20. I take exception to the accusation that I am trying to make this comment section all about me. I received a steady stream of criticism and I made several requests that that criticism be turned constructive. Almost nobody obliged. But Tammy is right. People defend themselves. I emailed Josh to tell him I'm done and I meant that. I'm reclaiming some of my cyber privacy. But I wanted to clarify on that one point. Don't flame and blame and defame expect not to get a response.
    Tammy I'll miss you and Karen I'll miss you when you're Karen and to the rest (including all the anons): enjoy the echo chamber from here on out. Or not. Maybe somebody else will be a skeptic but it won't be me. Not here. Not anymore.
    And to Chatty Cathy: I don't expect to see you again here or elsewhere so toodles.

  21. I like the message you are putting out, Josh. I realize you say it's not a panacea, and I can see how your example can be a great help with those also struggling with similar challenges. Excited to see you two on Ricky.

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