All right, so let’s talk about how things went on Wednesday on Ricki Lake.
I’m really, really happy to report that it was an incredibly positive experience.
So, here’s the story, in a nutshell.
Several weeks ago I got a voicemail from a producer of the show…
who was like “We’re doing a show on mixed orientation marriage we want you to be on it blah blah blah” and I was in the car being driven home from the sexual addiction conference I went to and I was like “WOW. I just got asked to be on Ricki Lake. What does that even mean?”
I didn’t know how to respond and also I’m about as organized as a tsunami so I didn’t even end up calling back. Then I got another message days later and I was like “oh, okay, they’re for realz. Still not sure how I feel about this, and also isn’t this a few steps shy of Jerry Springer? And also is it the 90’s right now?” *checks watch*
I talked it over with Lolly and our general feeling was like… “Naaah. Thanks so much, but…. mmnnahh.”
Anyway, they called again a while later and were like “we need to hear by today,” and then I didn’t call back (except I did leave some lame message the next day apologizing for not getting back ever). So we missed the chance, and it was like, okay, decision made. But THEN shortly thereafter I got this spiritual feeling that was like “So, you know how you got contacted by Ricki Lake and never called them back? You should do it” and I was like “but I just MISSED the opportunity! And also, Lord, you realize this is Ricki Lake, right?” But, to humor Him, I prayed and I was like “All right God, if you want me to do this, you need to make it happen in some miraculous way so I know this is for realsies” and I just left it at that. So THEN a week before the show they called again and caught me on the phone between sessions (which is a miracle in and of itself). And they pitched it. And they told me why they were doing it. And it was not as sensational as I was thinking. And they promised to treat it respectfully for a very specific reason that I won’t go into because it’s kind of private and about someone else. And I felt good about it. And then, suddenly, we had a flight for LA for the taping, and they even flew Lolly and the girls to go down and be with Lolly’s parents several days early. (I waited till the day before so I could work, because I’m diligent like that.)
All right. Cut to: Wednesday, the day of the taping.
We got to the studio, and it was madness, but a very controlled madness. They took Lolly in to hair and makeup and I went with the girls into the dressing room (where they were going to be watched by my father-in-law.) And then I got hair and make-upped. And we got miked. And then they briefed us, and we reviewed an interview that we had done on the phone prior (which was what Ricki used to formulate her questions). And our name was on the dressing room door which I guess is kind of fun.
I’m not gonna lie, I looked kinda weird. They kinda fro-ed my hair. It’s only national TV, though. So no big deal, right? (Of course Lolly looked beautiful.)
What else can I tell you?
We were acts one and two on the show, so we went out there with Ricki, and then talked until commercial, and then talked again until the next commercial. And it was… really, really awesome. Ricki was incredibly easy to talk to and really fun. She actually said something like “ya know what? What girl didn’t fall in love with her gay best friend at some point. I know I did…” which was hilarious. And, I dunno, it was just cool.
After that there were a couple of other stories. And then at the end we were called back for a question-answer session. And I was asked the first two questions. Or should I say, the first question, twice.
I don’t want to spoil the show, but I’ll just say that at one point Ricki looked at one of the girls and said something like “What, and who made you the orientation police?”
Anyway, the experience was really pretty amazing. The staff was awesome, and it just felt good. It felt good to connect with the audience, and it seemed as though our story resonated. And both of the other gay guests on the show (both of whom had left their wives) turned to me at some point and said something along the lines of “I want you to know that I think you guys can do this. It’s clear that you have something different than what I had. You guys are authentic and honest and clearly love each other.” It was really cool to hear that from both of them.
So… now I can check “be on daytime talk show” off my bucket list, even though to do so I’d have to write it on there because, let’s face it, it’s never been a life dream. But it was sure a heck-of-a good experience, and I’m glad I ended up feeling like we should do it, and ended up following that feeling.
It’s already been more than a week since the last check in, so let’s DO IT. I’ll try and do the next one on Wednesday night (so you’ll be checking in on Thursday, most likely), so this will be a short goal period.
Rules: Do not use the word “good.” Check in spiritually, physically and emotionally. Make a realistic goal and report on the progress from last time. This is not therapy, and is not meant to be a replacement or supplement to actual interaction with a mental health professional. Just for fun, guys.
Physically: I went to the gym four or five times last week and so I’m feeling really good about that. I still don’t have my eating under control and am trying to figure out how to not eat entire houses in one sitting. But I feel pleased with my progress and feel like I’m making progress.
Emotionally: I feel… several things at once. I feel confident in who I am and what I’m doing, but I also feel deeply fearful at times about a great many things. However, I feel very content with the things that are most important: my family, my girls, my marriage. I also feel emotionally exhausted and like I might never catch up on all that seems to be my responsibility, and I’m trying to get myself to feel okay about that as a reality. Overall, I feel like my life is still pretty out of control, but I also feel very happy for the most part.
Spiritually: I have had some pretty important spiritual insights this week that have really buoyed me up–some moments of true clarity regarding who I am, and what the crap I’m doing on this planet. I’ve had some very specific confirmations of parts of my Patriarchal Blessing, which is always a good thing. (It’s incredible to think that I had never met the Patriarch who gave me that blessing–he discussed VERY specific things that are transpiring in my life right now with stunning accuracy.) I have felt a lot of gratitude this week–for who I am, and for the life I lead, for my good wife, for my beautiful kids.
Goal last week was to write 10 hours in the memoir. I didn’t get there. Thus, my goal this week is to hit 8 hours of writing.
All right friends, do your thing. Hope you’re having an amazing Sunday.
UPDATE: I forgot to mention that I don’t know when the show will air. They said they don’t tell you until like three days before the air-date and it could be as far away as a month from now. So, I will definitely let you guys know the minute I know myself.