“What’s that in your 1-year-old’s mouth?” I’m sure you’re asking.

Isn’t it obvious?

It’s an electrical outlet cover, of course! What adult doesn’t remember the halcyon days of childhood, when they risked electric shock to find a two-pronged, hard-plastic replica of a pacifier?

“Mommy, I found a binkie!”

Hazards Involved in Tessa’s New “Toy”:

1. These things aren’t just lying around the house. That means that in order to obtain one, Tessa is using her tiny, outlet-sized fingers to wrench them out of the socket. Totally not dangerous!

2. Choking hazard? Check.

3. Probably not orthodontically approved.

4. She’s never used an actual binkie. So who knows the psychology behind why this is happening?

I know I don’t.

“Oh, come on. Don’t try to tell me you’ve never wanted to try one of these…”

This hasn’t happened only once. This happens daily.

So pretty much we’re the best parents on earth, is what I’m saying.

Oh, serenity.

Want one of these fun toys for your child?
I kind of love how the advertisement features a picture of a child ripping one out of the wall.

Or, if you’re a good parent, you can purchase these strange contraptions to actually protect your child from electricity:
But seriously, where’s the fun in that thing? You can’t even pretend to be a baby with it!