The other night during Family Home Evening:

Lolly is giving a lesson on obedience.

Anna: Ouch! Tessa [our one-year-old] is pulling my hair!

Lolly: Tessa, no! We don’t pull hair.

The lesson continues.

Tessa pulls Anna’s hair again.

Anna: Ouch! Ooooouuch!! Tessa stop it! I guess maybe I should pull your hair so you can see how it feels.

Anna tugs at Tessa’s hair.

Anna: Do you like that Miss T?

Tessa laughs and nods her head yes. At which point, Lolly looks at me like “What the….?”

Tessa then reaches over and grabs Anna’s hair so hard that she rips a chunk of hair off of Anna’s head.

Anna:  Ouch!!

Lolly: Tessa, no! We need to be nice to Anna!

Tessa: *laughs maniacally, starts flossing her teeth with strands of Anna’s ripped-out hair, begins to growl like a rabid dog that has just tasted blood*

Everyone in the room looks at each other in fear of what will happen next. We all laugh, but it’s a nervous laughter, filled with dread.


Tessa: *gets off the couch and begins running with Anna’s hair-strands in her mouth around the island in the kitchen*


Lolly: Tessa, come back until we finish the lesson on being obedient…


Tessa: *starts screaming like a banshee, removes her own diaper, runs naked around the house*

We wonder if we should corral her. Instead we quickly finish the lesson, and then I grab the naked one-year-old and take her, howling and writhing and nipping at me like a fox caught in the wild, up to bed.

Aaaand, scene.