Birthday Recap UPDATED

On Saturday I turned 32.

It’s kind of an unremarkable year, but I guess the main thing it means is that I’m now two full years away from my twenties. So probably I’m an adult now. Maybe.

It also means I spent the morning looking up abdominal pain online because I’m old enough to have that now. The pain is not really sharp, and it doesn’t seem to be appendicitis because it’s higher up in my abdomen and not constant. Based on my internet research, I have it narrowed down either being kidney stones or an ovarian cyst.  I’ll keep you updated.

Anyway, I guess I’ll break down what I got on my birthday.

Gift number one was a gift to myself. After a long run in the Seattle sun (for some reason it’s been really bright and sunny and warm up here and it is awesome) and the dropping of a hefty deuce, I got this for my birthday:

I haven’t seen the 180’s on the scale for YEARS. 

It was good to see that my body can still metabolize sufficiently to get to this point. Because I was beginning to have doubts. 

Gift number two was related. Wife bought me new clothes that fit me. Here is the stuff I wore that day and then fell asleep in on the couch after eating ice-cream (because I don’t want to have teeth when I am 74) and then woke up the next morning still wearing just in time to decide on an impromptu mirror photo-shoot with bed head before taking a shower before church so I would have pictures for this post (RUN-ON SENTENCES ARE MY FAVORITE):

 Note to self: cleaning the mirror for a mirror shot enhances visibility and makes it so you don’t look like you’re covered in chalk. Also, bed head is awesome.

Then of course, because this is me we’re talking about, things got awkward…
This was meant to be a come-hither smile, but instead became a creepy grimace that makes me look like a Chester inviting children to help me look for a lost puppy near an elementary school…

Aaaaand scene.
Gift number three was incredibly epic. Here. Let’s just start with a photo:

What you’re seeing here is an actual pair of friendship bracelets, a la junior high, from my friend Konrad (whom you should follow on Pinterest). Look closely. They say “Gym Friends” which is an inside joke about us working out at the gym together and being friends. Maybe by “inside joke” what I actually mean is “totally apparent to anybody” joke.

But look even closer. Notice another similarity? We happen to have the exact same wedding ring.


Yes. Yes it is.

But it’s still awesome.


 We also noticed that our wives have almost the same exact wedding ring as well.

Some Gym Friendships were just written in the stars…

The fourth thing I wanted to mention was a Facebook greeting I got that I thought was particularly awesome/hilarious.

My former professor Luis Carriere left the following uplifting birthday image for me with a message that said Happy Birthday, Weed Whacker:

Thanks so much for the birthday greeting, Death!

Other birthday highlights included: Thai food at one of my favorite places, a trip to XXX root beer for root beer floats WHICH WAS CLOSED because they are allowed to close whenever they want (seriously, their sign says that) and cupcakes and ice cream instead and a dulce de leche pie and a lot of great conversation.

It was a really good day.


I forgot one of the best things that I got on Saturday. Do you remember Chris from last year’s amazing contest where people submitted mastheads to me as possibilities to use on this blog and then there was a voting even though people didn’t realize it was a contest, and Chris submitted one that was incredibly powerful and evocative? Here, take a look at some awesome art. Well, in our family we have a tradition of making really horrible word paint cards for each other, and each one must include poop in some way. Because we are the most mature family in existence. So, Chris has been at it again, and for my birthday he sent me the following masterpiece about us when we were kids:

 Some families are just blessed with incredible artistic talent. And I happened to be born into one of them. Notice the subtle shading and texture of the phrase “oh, the memories.” 
Yeah, take a deep breath and just soak it all in.

Pretty much the best birthday card known to man.


    1. Dude, it was gnarly. I took a photo. Check your phone.

      (Just kidding.)

      BUT, this reminds me that I forgot to include one of my favorite things I got on Saturday. This calls for a post-update!

  1. Speaking of that contest, you say your favorite color is green, right? But almost everything that could be green is blue. The post title, the date, comment info, the links and background. Though the background could arguably be more of a gray. I feel lied to, Weed. *stern face*

    1. Okay, Sam, you've busted me. Here's the thing. I'm so poor at design that I had to resort to whatever I could get my hands on. Somebody literally donated that masthead for me, and then it got the most votes in the contest, so I had to make it work thematically. BUT I have hopes to do a revamp and get this place looking more like "me" so there should be some green coming up in the future. Plus… weed, green. Kinda go hand in hand, right?

    1. Haha, I'm pretty glad it all "came out" all right too. Ha, yeah, and aren't those friendship bracelets classic? Gotta admit, it's the first friendship bracelet I've ever owned. Is it weird that I kinda like how it looks and might actually wear it?

    1. Oh Pandy. We haven't met. *extends hand* I'm The Weed and I crapped my pants on a run in the forest and then wrote about it on my blog. Taking a picture of a hefty deuce is child's play 'round these parts, sadly.

  2. I would love to see the masthead for the Weed involving something with a big Jamaican guy with a huge joint in his mouth. Even though I'm sure you yourself don't partake, it would be ironic and funny.

    I love that your family draws stick people and turds in toilets. That is VERY funny. I tried doing something on Word paint/draw the other day and just got frustrated and gave up.

    Lastly, one time when my husband and I were dating, he forced me to go on a hike here in SLC…up to Dog Lake. Three-quarters of the way up the hill I of course was hit with the hershey squirts. It was AWFUL. There were few places to go, few places to squat, few places to hide, and there seemed to be tons of small children and dogs running around. I had to keep shooing them away. And then my boyfriend/husband had to gallantly cut off part of his t-shirt for me to wipe with. Now you understand why I no longer hike.

  3. OH…I also forgot to mention. The abdominal pain. Your gall bladder may be on the outs. I know this because I had to have mine taken out four years ago when it stopped working. Just email if you have questions!! I can go into detail about symptoms, tests, etc.

  4. 1. You look Ah-mah-zing! (said like Penny). Seriously ,though, you look really really good.
    2. That poop card made me so, so happy.
    3. I called you on your birthday. Sorry you didn't answer. But happy late one anyway.
    4. I love you a lot.

  5. I'm glad you had a great birthday! On first glance, I thought those bracelets said "GYN" friends. I was a little confused why another man would be your gynecological friend, or why anyone would make up bracelets that referenced gynecological friends to begin with…. Good to know I was mistaken 🙂 I'm also glad to know that other people have clothes on their bathroom floor and smudgy mirrors besides just me. Thank you for making me feel like this is a completely normal occurrence in families (my mom was a neat freak and nothing was ever on the floor and the mirrors were never smudgy). You look great and I hope 32 treats you awesomely!

  6. Best Birthday Greetings EVER! Lol. Love Death with a weed wackier in a beautifully eerie pastoral setting. Happy Belated Birthday from a new member of the Unicorn Club! Your blog lights up my life. The only thing that would make that greeting better is a unicorn grazing in the background:).

  7. "I have found that sharing this part of me allows my relationships with others to be more authentic"

    Josh, this post may be one of the most truly authentic posts I've ever read on a blog. Can't wait to share it with numerous people. Thank you for being so comfortable with vulnerability. You have a beautiful approach to marriage and intimacy.

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