On Saturday I turned 32.

It’s kind of an unremarkable year, but I guess the main thing it means is that I’m now two full years away from my twenties. So probably I’m an adult now. Maybe.

It also means I spent the morning looking up abdominal pain online because I’m old enough to have that now. The pain is not really sharp, and it doesn’t seem to be appendicitis because it’s higher up in my abdomen and not constant. Based on my internet research, I have it narrowed down either being kidney stones or an ovarian cyst.  I’ll keep you updated.

Anyway, I guess I’ll break down what I got on my birthday.

Gift number one was a gift to myself. After a long run in the Seattle sun (for some reason it’s been really bright and sunny and warm up here and it is awesome) and the dropping of a hefty deuce, I got this for my birthday:

I haven’t seen the 180’s on the scale for YEARS. 

It was good to see that my body can still metabolize sufficiently to get to this point. Because I was beginning to have doubts. 

Gift number two was related. Wife bought me new clothes that fit me. Here is the stuff I wore that day and then fell asleep in on the couch after eating ice-cream (because I don’t want to have teeth when I am 74) and then woke up the next morning still wearing just in time to decide on an impromptu mirror photo-shoot with bed head before taking a shower before church so I would have pictures for this post (RUN-ON SENTENCES ARE MY FAVORITE):

 Note to self: cleaning the mirror for a mirror shot enhances visibility and makes it so you don’t look like you’re covered in chalk. Also, bed head is awesome.

Then of course, because this is me we’re talking about, things got awkward…
Seductive…
This was meant to be a come-hither smile, but instead became a creepy grimace that makes me look like a Chester inviting children to help me look for a lost puppy near an elementary school…

Aaaaand scene.
Gift number three was incredibly epic. Here. Let’s just start with a photo:

What you’re seeing here is an actual pair of friendship bracelets, a la junior high, from my friend Konrad (whom you should follow on Pinterest). Look closely. They say “Gym Friends” which is an inside joke about us working out at the gym together and being friends. Maybe by “inside joke” what I actually mean is “totally apparent to anybody” joke.

But look even closer. Notice another similarity? We happen to have the exact same wedding ring.

Coincidence?


Yes. Yes it is.

But it’s still awesome.


PLUS:


 We also noticed that our wives have almost the same exact wedding ring as well.

Some Gym Friendships were just written in the stars…

The fourth thing I wanted to mention was a Facebook greeting I got that I thought was particularly awesome/hilarious.

My former professor Luis Carriere left the following uplifting birthday image for me with a message that said Happy Birthday, Weed Whacker:

Thanks so much for the birthday greeting, Death!

Other birthday highlights included: Thai food at one of my favorite places, a trip to XXX root beer for root beer floats WHICH WAS CLOSED because they are allowed to close whenever they want (seriously, their sign says that) and cupcakes and ice cream instead and a dulce de leche pie and a lot of great conversation.

It was a really good day.

UPDATE

I forgot one of the best things that I got on Saturday. Do you remember Chris from last year’s amazing contest where people submitted mastheads to me as possibilities to use on this blog and then there was a voting even though people didn’t realize it was a contest, and Chris submitted one that was incredibly powerful and evocative? Here, take a look at some awesome art. Well, in our family we have a tradition of making really horrible word paint cards for each other, and each one must include poop in some way. Because we are the most mature family in existence. So, Chris has been at it again, and for my birthday he sent me the following masterpiece about us when we were kids:

 Some families are just blessed with incredible artistic talent. And I happened to be born into one of them. Notice the subtle shading and texture of the phrase “oh, the memories.” 
Yeah, take a deep breath and just soak it all in.

 
Pretty much the best birthday card known to man.