Male Pattern Baldness

Can somebody please explain this to me?

I have a full head of hair. Not a single ounce of baldness. Yet, somehow, this has happened.

 No, I am not wearing socks or ankle weights.
Here it is closer up:
News alert: it’s physically impossible to take a picture of your own legs head on. I know because I tried. Then called Wife over to do it for me.
Yes, my leg-hair doesn’t start until about half-way up my lower leg. 
And yes, my flesh is blinding.

I have no idea what this means, but it pretty much looks like I had a pair of white socks tattooed to my ankles. Especially when I’m not tan. Like right now.


I wore socks that were too abrasive as at some point in my youth.

A leprechaun shaved my ankles in my sleep using a magic razor.

I am simply going bald starting from the bottom up instead of the top down.

I have cancer.*

I am a leper.

I am Benjamin Button.

Which do you think it is? Or perhaps you have another idea as to what might be happening here?

Also: Rogaine? Thoughts?

*I’m sure there must be a cancer that involves ankle baldness. But even if there isn’t one, I think it’s pretty clear that my “perma-socks” are most likely insidious and life-threatening.


  1. Polyester but not cotton or wool textiles inhibit hair growth.
    Shafik A.

    Department of Surgery and Research, Faculty of Medicine, Cairo University, Egypt.

    The effect of different types of textile fabrics on hair growth was investigated in 40 mongrel dogs divided into 5 groups. An area of 10 x 20 cm on the dog’s back was shaved; half of this area was covered by a textile patch of 100% polyester material in the 1st group, 100% cotton in the 2nd group, 100% wool in the 3rd group and a 50%/50% polyester/cotton blend in the 4th group. The remaining half of the shaved area in the 4 groups as well as the whole area in the 5th group (control) were left uncovered. The textile patch was worn for 2 months. The polyester-covered hair grew at a significantly lower rate and density than in the uncovered area of the same animal and the controls (p 0.05) against the uncovered area and controls. In the polyester-covered skin, a thinning of the epidermis of the skin was noted microscopically with fragmentation and vacuolation of the hair follicle pulp. The study has shown that the polyester material generated electrostatic potentials, which may have inhibited hair growth, whereas cotton and woolen textiles did not. Friction between the polyester textile and the skin generates electrostatic charges which are suggested to create an ‘electrostatic field’ that seems to be responsible for the inhibited hair growth.

    1. Note to self: wrap entire body in polyester textiles in hopes that I may never have to wax or shave ever again.

      How said is it that I read your post and was overcome with jealousy? Seriously, figure out what caused this and then market it to the women of the world, Josh!

  2. My dad has bald thighs from bicycle riding with long pants (he commuted via bike for ~30 years). Maybe you can attribute it to your robust athletic regimen. . . .

    1. Yes. I think it's possible that my regular lifting at the gym is somehow the culprit. Except… I wear shorts and ankle socks there. So, maybe I've been dropping weights on my legs?

      I'm still not sure…

      Why is life so mysterious?

  3. My diabetes doctors always tell me not to wax/shave or remove hair from my toes, because if I have hair growing on my big toes, it means that I have good circulation in my feet and are not in need of an amputation. So, I use that as an excuse to have harry, Hobbit-feet. So, maybe you have bad circulation?

    My bet is that it's just a freak random thing, though. Similar to my brother's random bald spot on his head that came and left just as quickly the first year or so he was married (ask him about it, it's weird!).

  4. Do you sparkle when you reach sunlight? A cullen like vampire is all I can come up with. Or fairy. Depends on how you define "cullen vampire". Or, for vampires in general, snow. Are you perhaps snow?

  5. My husband also has this strange built-in sock phenomenon as well as a bit on the inner thighs and has had for many years. Of course, he also has been without hair on the top of his head for many years as well. We never related the two though. I just always figured the ankle part was because of his socks and the thigh part because of the nasty polyester pants he had to wear to work for many years.

    1. I'm happy to report that my thighs are baldness-free (which is another way to say "perfectly hairy" without sounding ridiculous). No polyester pants for this guy. I'm KLASSY.

    2. My man's classy too. LOL He couldn't help the polyester. It wasn't his choice. It was his uniform for work. How he wears nice, decent cargo pants for work so no more polyester. 🙂

    3. My man's classy too. LOL He couldn't help the polyester. It wasn't his choice. It was his uniform for work. How he wears nice, decent cargo pants for work so no more polyester. 🙂

  6. With the first pic I was hoping it was some creepy picture you found on the internet, but when I recognized your house in the background I realized this wasn't a joke. It was really your leg. Rogaine only works on the legit male pattern baldness, I am so sorry for your loss…of hair… and eyesight, after viewing those legs.

  7. Doth my eyes deceive me? You have posted 5 post in a row on the correct days? I'm impressed. No really… I am. Also at least you will have curly locks on your head for a long time if you take after dad right? Also I vote no on cancer, Uh uh.

  8. Naw, just regular ol' sock-rubbin'. The switch from winter socks to summer socks always gets me, too. Although, mine is only the front of my shins which is both better and worse than yours.

  9. I have the exact same issue. I'm 37 and it started when I was 23. My thighs are bald too. I'm just really glad that short shorts aren't the thing right now (and hopefully not ever again) because patchy baldness across the entire leg is not all that appealing (translation, it's ugly) but when it is just the lower leg it is at least tolerable. 🙂

  10. Hey! My better half has had the disappearing leg hair creep for years too! And only around the ankles, which makes it even more noticeable against his super hairy, I mean manly, calves and thighs.

    I was wandering around, trying to find a new and interesting blog to follow, and, through a series of click-thrus, found you yesterday. What a month to find you!

    Congratulations on your courageous announcement.


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