Why I Support Sugared Cereal

My girls have always been inordinately obsessed with Michael Jackson. I have no idea why. I think it started when I showed Anna Thriller at the tender age of three and then she asked to watch it pretty much daily for like a month. (Don’t you love when people say they have no idea why something happened and then proceed to give a perfectly plausible reason why the thing happened? Yeah, I hate that too. I have no idea why. I think it’s because it’s STUPID. Yet, I do it all the time for some reason. I have no idea why. Seriously.)

Anyway, the following was a short exchange between my girls:

Viva: Mommy, can I have more cereal?

Wife: Sure, sweety, what kind do you want?

Viva: I want Michael Jacks.

Wife: You want what….?

Anna (interjecting): They’re not called Michael Jacks, Viva. They’re called Fruity Jacksons.

Wife: …Do you mean Apple Jacks?

And the girls nodded in agreement. And then they enjoyed the fruity flavor of corn-based sugarfied cereal. Mmmm.

 Mmmm.. delicious Michal Jacks. Or is it Fruity Jacksons? I always get so confused.

(Photo attribution: Here)
Side-story: did you know that when I was a kid my parents were so poor (click here for a post about food and gangs from when I lived on the West Side) we weren’t allowed to have sugared cereal, and the only time we ever got it was as a present on Christmas morning. There they would be, the boxes of sugared cereal, all lined up in a row beside our stockings. Imagine if you had the hankering for Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Apple Jacks in the same year (say, 1989, for example.)  
Disastrous. (No Mom, I have NO IDEA where the rest of Chris’s Apple Jacks went…)

In closing, sugared cereal is good for kids because it reduces their need to steal from each other and teaches them about musical icons. So go give your kid a bowl of Cap’n Crunch. Stat.

25 Comments

  1. So, I may check your blog every day waiting eagerly for a new post…. I love your blog. Anyways, I'm pregnant (due March 7) and I was REALLY craving cereal, and this awesome post definitley broke me down and is sending me to the kitchen. Good job! I love cereal and your blog!

    1. So, I may or may not be in love with the fact that you check my blog every day, and knowing that may or may not (though probably will) motivate me to write more frequently than, say, every fortnight. Sometimes I forget people read this thing. (Oh, this old thing? This is just where I write when I don't CARE if people see it…or it's the only place I write that other people even vaguely care about… one of those two things.)

      Also, good luck with the pregnancy! I'm glad I could support your growing child by inspiring a good cereal raid. I'm 'bout to make a cereal raid myself 😉

    1. WHOLE MILK! I know! It's like heaven in milk form. Whole milk with sugared cereal is one of my favorite things on this planet. I'm pleased to say that I have no idea what wheat germ is, but it sure sounds revolting.

  2. Oh Brett I feel your pain – my mother would sprinkle wheat germ on everything too – bleh! And Josh we didn't get sugar cereal growing up either. If we ever got a treat in our lunch it was half of whatever it was. Half a cupcake, half a Twinkie, one Oreo etc. We also didn't have treats like chips so at Christmas by our stocking we would each get a big bag of Doritos – YUM! I think I'll go have me a bowl of Fruit Loops with some Doritos crushed over the top – mmmm, heaven!

    1. Haha, totally about the lunches! And we would always get the fake versions of things, like those nasty fake doritos that always tasted stale. In a baggie. Never anything actually individually wrapped. Woe is me! (I'm beginning to hate myself right now that I'm actually kind of complaining about this when so many people on the planet don't get to eat food. But whatever. It's still tragic.)

  3. Christmas was amazing. I look back at my childhood and have never once felt deprived or that I didn't get what I needed. Yeah I never got an electric car for my birthday. I remember imagining it sitting in mom and dad's room in our house in Utah, just waiting for me on my birthday. Alas I didn't get it but I got love, compassion, nurture, and unity. I got a great family. That is all I needed. Wow, I just got really sappy but it's true and thanks for the reminder. Also remember bagels and cream cheese for our birthdays? BOMB.

  4. I'm starting to think this is a Utah thing or something?! We never got sugar cereal either. If it wasn't oatmeal or cracked wheat for breakfast, RARELY it was Raisin Bran. I had no idea what Capt 'N Crunch was until I was a teenager and spent the night at someone's house! My lunches were always home made too, and very frequently we had zucchini sliced into rounds, with peanut butter between them, instead of oreos or anything else cool like that. That's what you get when your dad grows a 2 acre garden. We were so deprived!! (I'm sneaking upstairs right now with my green snow-balls. Hostess was 10/$10, and I caved.)

  5. I am so excited The Weed replied! In my head, you are tottttttally a celeb! Anyways, growing up we had an occasional box (or bag…ick) of sugar cereal, but only with skim milk. Now, with a toddler in the house, we buy 2percent. It's a big treat! Yum. I'm going for another cereal raid now.

    1. Get ready to pinch yourself, Sarah, because I'm replying again. Yes, that just happened.

      (Totally joking 😉 )

      I completely agree. 2% is really good too. In some ways I like it better than whole because I drink its deliciousness with less guilt. Know what I mean? (PS, I'd absolutely be doing another cereal raid as well if I wasn't cooped up in my office.)

  6. I think your kids just came up with a great entrepreneural idea that could make millions! Seriously, I wasn't deprived of sweetened cereal at all (maybe my mom didn't care, haha). In fact, I added even more sugar to the bowl on top of what was already there. I have no idea why I shared this or where I'm going with it, but…great post.

    1. Whoa, you're right. Not sure how to market this, but if I figure it out, I'm pretty sure I'll be a rolling in the big bucks. Which I'll then give to them for their respective college educations. Because, really, they're the brains behind the operation. I just overheard it.

  7. Since my Dad worked for Quaker Oats we had all varieties of Capn' Crunch available anytime. When my mom would splurge and buy Cheerios I thought we were living the high life.

  8. No lie–a couple times a year I will reminisce about this very fact regarding your family of origin. I will never forget it. I actually witnessed the cereal thievery myself. I don't know if it was Michael Jacks or not, but I vividly remember you absconding with small amounts of your brother's coveted cereal. Oh, the memories! 🙂

    1. Ha, the fact that you just called it my "family of origin" means that you, without question, are a marriage and family therapist. Total ridiculousness would have been if you had said "regarding your FOO". But it also would have been kind of awesome. How's your FOO btw?

    1. I really think I will. Really truly. I want to be the magical electrical surprise that gives you a boost in the morning. Not the sad, disappointing page you occasionally visit that hasn't updated for like 12 days. Who wants to be that??

      Seriously, thanks for the encouragement.

  9. I dont know if its a poor thing, a Mormon thing or a Utah thing that my parents carried to Arizona with them, but the only time we ever got sugared cereal was at Christmas too (along with a stocking full of peanuts and an orange). We survived the rest of the year on plain Cheerios, puffed wheat and the giant non-sugared bales of shredded wheat. We lived for when Santa would bring the mini multipacks that never had enough boxes of cocoa crispies or pops so sometimes us younger ones got stuck with honey smacks that are nasty and shouldn't be allowed to hang out with the other sugary cereals. My dad would bust out his pocket knife and cut the front open and let us pour the milk right in the special foil lined box. Now I have shelves full of giant boxes of the tastey garbage. My poor spoiled kids will never fully appreciate what they've got.

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