Today in the car:
Me: I think I need a new masthead for the blog for the new year. Something that captures my essence. Something that maybe involves a picture of me.
Wife: You want a picture of you as your masthead?
Me: Yeah… I just think it will clarify my image. You know… “The Weed”. And then a picture of the The Weed. Just in case people think this is a website about the finest hashish. Or dandelions.
Wife: So, you think putting your picture next to the phrase “The Weed” will clarify to newcomers that this is a humor blog, and not a blog about drugs, even though the subtitle of the blog says it’s about drugs?
Me: Yes. People will totally get it. They will see my face and think “it’s time to read about colonoscopies and Bambi nuggets.” Actually, no, on second thought I need my picture to evoke nothing about colonoscopies. It needs to be attractive. People are more likely to enjoy a picture if it’s attractive.
Wife: …It doesn’t have to be attractive.
Me: Yeah, but I want it to be attractive. It’s going to represent me.
Wife: …but… it doesn’t necessarily have to be attractive. Napoleon Dynamite wasn’t attractive.
Me: Wait… did you just compare me to Napoleon dynamite?
Me: Why are you so insistent it can be unattractive? You don’t think I can even manage an attractive masthead photo, do you!?
Wife: No, no, no, that’s totally not it! I fully believe in your attractiveness… I think you are very attractive. I married you!
Wife: What we should really do is hire a professional to make the logo. A photographer. Someone who’s an expert in Photoshop.
Me: *looks at her askance*
Wife: …I didn’t mean it like that! Seriously, I just think we need… oh, never mind.
Anyway, here’s the photo I was thinking of using, no thanks to Wife and her doubts about me. Let me know if you think it’ll work.