I’ve been thinking about the idea of living abroad. Going to a foreign land and experiencing new things. Being untethered. Seeing new cultures. Eating new foods. Getting a parasite and peeing out my bum bum. You know, the life of an adventurer.
There are actually families that do this. And, well, I think it would probably suit my family really well. I think this for a lot of reasons, of course, but most especially because I think my kids would be adept at tolerating cultural cuisine.
Typical dinner at the The Weed Household:
Anna: Mommy, can I have a breadstick?
Wife: No. We’re eating couscous and chicken.
Anna: (stares at plate in disgust for two straight minutes) I don’t think I want dinner tonight.
Wife: If you don’t eat your dinner, you won’t eat desert.
Anna: …I don’t want dinner or dessert. I just want to be done.
Wife: You haven’t even tried it yet, sweetie. Just take one bite.
Anna: (puts one tiny morsel of couscous into her mouth.) (gags violently) (starts crying)
Wife: Well, at least eat your chicken. You love chicken!
Anna: (Puts a tiny morsel of chicken into her mouth.) (gags violently) (starts crying)
Anna: There. I ate a bite.
Wife: You mean that mangled, chewed piece of chicken you spit back out on your plate?
Anna: No. I ate a bite of couscous.
Wife: You did not eat a bite of couscous. You ate one cous. One.
Anna: *starts gagging* I think I’m gonna throw up.
Wife: Why? You don’t have anything in your mouth?
Anna: I looked at the food, and it made me want to throw up. (runs to the bathroom)
(This from the girl who six months ago was jazzed about the idea of eating Bambi Nuggets.)
In the meantime, Viva has dipped every bite of food she’s eaten into her cup of water before she eats it (we have no idea where she got the desire to do this, but she does it nightly), and Tessa has thrown enough couscous and chicken on the floor to actually feed one of the third world countries we could live in.
Clearly, world travel would be a breeze for us since our girls are so flexible!
All right, it’s time for: The The Weed Wednesday Wrap Up on a Friday
*because sometimes crap happens that’s not suitable for its own blog post* <—–I would like this cross-stitched. I would hang it in my bathroom. (I would settle for a cool graphic. Perhaps I will have to make one, because I’m so incredibly good at graphic art.)
1. I was nominated by loyal reader Cali Cook for a contest! I’m in the Daddy Blog category at Parent Magazine. Throw me a vote if you’d like. It will bring you good karma. Or a parasite. One of those.
Click here to vote:
2. Wife ordered bumper stickers when we got my business cards. It’s green and says “I read The Weed.”
Here. Here’s a picture we just took outside in the dark:
I’m sure you’re just dying to put one on your car. Or front door. Or briefcase. Or garbage can. Or a hymnal at church. Or your child’s backpack. So, consider this a give-away! First fifteen people who say “I want one of your bumper stickers!” in the comments will get one. (Also leave an email address in your comment so I can contact you about where to send it.) (It will be hilarious when nobody does this. And I will have bumper stickers to last the rest of my automobile purchasing life.)
3. A really long time ago, I was interviewed for this blog about networking. I’m listed as a therapist, but I ended up mostly talking about blogging and novel writing.
4. I have an uncle whose name is Fon. He works on movie special effects. He’s worked on really cool movies, like Star Wars and Mission Impossible and The Nightmare Before Christmas. He used to work for ILM. Now he’s trying to launch the pilot of a project that he’s been working on for years. I’ve seen the blood sweat and tears he’s poured into this. The only thing standing in the way for him right now is some of the money it takes to launch a pilot. He needs to raise $39,000 by October 12th to have his project kickstarted. Because his project is pretty legit, he’s already nearing the half-way mark, but time is going by fast. Click here if you’d be willing to “back” him with a donation to help him get his dream off the ground.
Also, if you ever watched the show Battlebots in the early 2000’s, he and his wife April, my mom’s youngest sister, battled with a bot named Mouser Mecha Catbot.
I think we should close out with the Mouser Mecha Catbot song. Because I’m on a kick where I try to post songs that will, without question, get stuck in your head for days. (I really like it, actually. Because apparently I’m eight years old at heart.)