Wanna see my loot of white elephant gifts this holiday season? I really made out like a bandit.

First, this:

A soothing fountain for my office (which is out of focus, but I’m too tired to take and upload another picture. But my does that carpet behind it look sharp!)

Then this:

A fancy Care Bear futon for our living room the girls’ bedroom.

And finally, this:

Why hello there, Little Thumper.

Yes. Yes that is a vibrator.

Merry Christmas! <——- This is how I had planned to end this post when I wrote it down in my head before Christmas, but now Christmas is over, so I suppose Little Thumper (who is the one doing the merry Christmas wishing in my head) is referring to Christmas of 2011. That’s right, a vibrator just wished you a merry Christmas in 2011. Bet you’ve never had that happen before, huh?

Also: true story. The day after we brought this stuff home, the Little Thumper was sitting on the girls’ Care Bear couch and Anna woke up and saw it and was like “Mommy what’s this?!” in a voice that was filled with Christmas glee, thinking it was some new toy. And then Wife grabbed it really quickly and actually said:Oh, no sweetie, this is just a toy for Mommy…”

I thought I might die laughing.