Being a guy can be great.

But there are times when it’s really tough.

One of those times is when your wife is in labor. Cuz, that’s really hard for a guy. You have to sit there while she’s writhing in pain, and you have to be really strong. You have to keep your nerves calmed and your face soldier-like and your hand needs to be made of cement so it’s not ripped off. And you also have to be able to tolerate a lot of noise and screaming, which a lot of men aren’t really equipped to do because deep down we’re like gentle little sleeping babies ourselves, and we need to be coddled. And like my friend Paul put it after he and his wife had their first child, “I honestly don’t think people realize just how tired the husband gets during labor.”

We’re there to coddle our wives while they go through labor. But who’s there to coddle us?

Just look:

Wife looks downright peaceful in this photo, about 30 seconds after pushing Viva out.
On that same night, I look like I might pass out. And like my eyebrows might peel off and fly away like a bird. (And yes, this is the Dahmer Bin Laden picture.)

So, I think it’s pretty plain to see that we need to be a little bit more sensitive to men during the childbirth process. Women get so much–they have nurses and doctors and anesthesiologists and midwifes and doulas all there at their beck and call. They get free meals. They get a cool water bottle with a long straw to drink from whenever they get thirsty.  They get to just sit back and relax in a bed that moves up and down when you press a button, and they get to hold the remote to the TV because it’s the same remote that moves the bed. They get lots of soft padding for their bum bums, and cool antiseptic creams, and a jetted tub and lots of attention.

But what do men get? 

Something to think about…

UPDATE from the comment queue: The only reason I had more children after the first one was to get the cool water bottle with long flexy straw. Anna Campbell

My point exactly.

UPDATE #2: To see my actual thoughts on the subject go here.